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Teen Poetry #7
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Artofmark
Junior Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 41


0 posted 2006-08-01 05:22 PM



gentle is my touch
and smooth is your skin
for i never knew i could love so much
to hold you is what i desire
and to kiss o so sweet
and to believe that we ever did meet
for you are my flower
always blooming no matter the time
and my love always there no matter the hour
for your love there is no great enough crime
for not seeing you is why i cower
to be with you is nothing but sublime.

© Copyright 2006 Artofmark - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-01 09:23 PM


WOW! I really like everything in this poem.
There's nothing to point out to you for the parts that were my favorite, b/c everything was just amazing. You did a nice job on this poem. Thanks for sharing.

beautyincalvary
Member
since 2006-07-13
Posts 98

2 posted 2006-08-02 12:24 PM


The rhymes could flow a little better... they seem a bit forced.
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-08-02 01:58 AM


Wow! I have to agree with cherrys_rule in this being an amazing poem! Although, I must admit, that I do have a favorite part. It would have to be the ending, "to be with you is nothing but sublime.", I'm not quite sure why, it could be because you use the word sublime or that the flow is nice, but I just like it. To me it's a great ending to a great poem. It's not weak, instead of pulling the poem down it kind of goes out with a BaNG! Okay, that might not make sense to anyone but me, I'm kind of tired and it's kind of late, but what I'm saying is that I liked the poem a lot. I hope you will continue to post more in the near future

@-->---

Artofmark
Junior Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 41

4 posted 2006-08-02 12:35 PM


Thank you all for reading my poems, I hope to get a chance to read all of yours, :P
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