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Teen Poetry #7
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electricxheart
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2006-07-30 11:44 PM



but you wouldn’t know what it’s like
to have this lust bottled
inside
while you sit and hide away
in another world
in another life
and we are always separated
because i can’t read your thoughts like
i used to
dreaming, dreaming, dreaming
that we could build a foundation
stronger then what we shared
it’s not getting us anywhere
never got us
what we always admired
what we always imagined we could be
wrapped within these nights
like we knew
like we knew all along
when we had no clue
nothing
to keep us wondering
nothing
to keep our faith alive,
our love wilting
into the summer heat
into the summer memories
when you swept me off my feet
just like that
just like that
oh, and i believed you when you said
hang on just a little longer
you’re stronger then this
you’re stronger

but i’m so weak in the knees
breathing
for you
has never kept me alive
and the lies
they only serve to make me want to
break the ties
away from your grip
away from those eyes
that always seemed to rip apart my
insides,
did you know how i used to cry?
did you know that i never stopped wondering why?


© Copyright 2006 Kelly Landis - All Rights Reserved
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2006-07-31 12:26 PM


I haven't been around for a while, but this is an exceptional way of starting my piptalk days again.
thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings

patience_iago
Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54

2 posted 2006-09-03 08:30 PM


Why didnt more people comment on this? Its great. I love it, espically the title, it is very attention grabbing.

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2006-09-03 09:03 PM


Agreed.  The title is excellent and it was just a great write from you!

~Alli~

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2006-09-10 05:16 AM


this is amazing.

i have had writers block for god knows how long now, but i know that if i could write i would wish it to be this.  

thanks for sharing

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
5 posted 2006-11-08 10:08 PM


Wow.. I absolutley loved this. I don't have time now to analyze and critique this.. but I just wanted to say wonderful job.. this was very deep. I loved the repetition of some of the lines. .great job..

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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