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Teen Poetry #7
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She can't see me
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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She can't see me |
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gozaggss Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 33 |
This is dedicated to my girlfriend of 8 months who just moved far, far away. Sometimes I wish I could fly way up above The wings of a swallow, a hawk, a seagull, a dove I’d fly under clouds and over mountains And when I get tired, I’d rest at the fountains Creatures will envy me, they would also respect me Love me, cherish me, kiss me, and bow on one knee I’ll be a friend, an enemy, and a ruler Because flying up so high makes me just so much cooler Going when and wherever I want to go And none have to right to tell me “no” Because I’m so high, I’m untouchable Like Merlin, the Yeti or any other fable I’m not their ruler, a god, or any immortal being I’m just flying, flying up so high, I’m beyond seeing No one can watch me when I fly I can laugh scream, pray, even cry No one can see the tears on my feathers But why would I? I’m free of my tethers Why cry? I have everything I’ve ever yearned for All but one, the last the that I do adore Someone so far below, the one that I love But she’s not here, I’m so high above And she can’t see me |
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| © Copyright 2006 gozaggss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
WOW!! I was not expecting that. GREAT JOB! "Someone so far below, the one that I love But she?s not here, I?m so high above And she can?t see me" I love this ending.. the last line just set off the whole poem... Keep 'em coming.. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"No one can watch me when I fly I can laugh scream, pray, even cry No one can see the tears on my feathers But why would I? I’m free of my tethers Why cry? I have everything I’ve ever yearned for All but one, the last the that I do adore" This part is my favorite, maybe because it builds you up and lets you down. Things like that always catch my attention... What an amazing write, it wasn't what I thought it would be, nor how I thought it would end. Yet, it is a very enjoyable read. I loved your way with words and how you used the fables in this. Great job, I can't wait to see more! Thanks for sharing  @-->--- |
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