navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Twilight
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Twilight Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442


0 posted 2006-07-25 08:40 AM



Twilight

there must be a vision beyond
the porch
as she looks far ahead;
eyes that talk in silence, I tried
to speak into them,
they refused to melt;
her mind’s a clenched fist
as she strolls
into the wilderness of frozen zephyrs
strewn along the edges
of a muted story.

© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
broken_smile1469
Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104

1 posted 2006-07-25 04:43 PM


i liked this poem! it was a little confusing for me at times but that might just be me.... but i thought it was great! good job!

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-07-25 05:08 PM


"eyes that talk in silence, I tried
to speak into them,
they refused to melt;
her mind’s a clenched fist
as she strolls "


I liked this part a lot, it seems so sad to me... Although, I must agree, no offence, that I was confused a couple times when I read this, I don't know why, it could be because I read the comments before I posted so I decided to be confused also? lolz!

It's a sad but beautiful poem, I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing

@-->---

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Twilight

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary