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Teen Poetry #7

Twilight

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

0 posted 2006-07-25 08:40 AM

Twilight

there must be a vision beyond
the porch
as she looks far ahead;
eyes that talk in silence, I tried
to speak into them,
they refused to melt;
her mind’s a clenched fist
as she strolls
into the wilderness of frozen zephyrs
strewn along the edges
of a muted story.

broken_smile1469
Member

since 2006-07-02

Posts 104

1 posted 2006-07-25 04:43 PM

i liked this poem! it was a little confusing for me at times but that might just be me.... but i thought it was great! good job!

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-07-25 05:08 PM

"eyes that talk in silence, I tried
to speak into them,
they refused to melt;
her mind’s a clenched fist
as she strolls "

I liked this part a lot, it seems so sad to me... Although, I must agree, no offence, that I was confused a couple times when I read this, I don't know why, it could be because I read the comments before I posted so I decided to be confused also? lolz!

It's a sad but beautiful poem, I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing

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