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Passions in Poetry

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stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


0 posted 07-24-2006 03:09 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for stargal


Itís time that we talk
Time that you listen
Hear what I need you too
Before you sit up and speak

Itís not that I donít listen to you
Neither is it that I hate listening
Just at times I feel youíve got no clue
Whatís going on between us two

You say you want to listen
That you want to hear what Iíve got to say
It just doesnít seem true, to me, to you?
Iím tired of feeling this negativity surrounding you

You say I never answer when we interact
That I ignore the questions that you ask
Well, that could be true, but when I want to talk
Have a serious discussion between the two of us

You become the leader and I, the follower
The speaker, one, and the audienceÖof one
For once, wonít you let me be the speaker?
Controller of the topic, initiator of the conversation

Iím sure I sound selfish and Iíve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, Iíve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

Iím losing patience, kindness, and trust
Denying the evidence of, my own, self-destruction
The weight of my conscience is dragging me down
Pushing me onto the very ground, affecting me in various ways

Iím about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friendÖ who listens
© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 03-14-2006
Posts 527


1 posted 07-25-2006 02:29 PM       View Profile for bekahlekah45   Email bekahlekah45   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bekahlekah45

I really really like this!  one of my favorites by you no doubt!!
Iím sure I sound selfish and Iíve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, Iíve got a right to speak
Thats deff. my favorite part ever!!!!
awesome job.  i love the message it gives out.  and just yeah i love it!
broken_smile1469
Member
since 07-02-2006
Posts 104


2 posted 07-25-2006 04:37 PM       View Profile for broken_smile1469   Email broken_smile1469   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for broken_smile1469

i like this one a lot.  I can realate to it in a way... great poem!

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


3 posted 07-25-2006 04:56 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Thanks, both of you, I appreciate that ya'll took a moment to post on my poem  

@-->---
cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


4 posted 07-25-2006 06:36 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

Yeah i understand, this has some of the same crap that I had in my poem. Not saying it's crap, maybe stuff is a better usage of the woud I'm trying to say. But other then that, your poem is much better then mine. But I guess that's just our opinions. but I love this one, and as you said before I can relate to your poem lol.  
The Shadow in Blue
Member
since 05-18-2006
Posts 488
EL, Michigan


5 posted 07-25-2006 06:46 PM       View Profile for The Shadow in Blue   Email The Shadow in Blue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit The Shadow in Blue's Home Page   View IP for The Shadow in Blue

I like the theme of this poem and relatibility factor. To me the last 3 stanzas stood out. Great job Stargal!

~J.
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 03-14-2006
Posts 527


6 posted 07-26-2006 12:16 AM       View Profile for bekahlekah45   Email bekahlekah45   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bekahlekah45

"Iím about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friendÖ who listens"

I decided that i LOVE this last stanza also.

I'm absolutely amazed at this poem.  i can relate so well...and well it was just so well done.  I felt the need to comment you again and remind you that i love this.  
great job!
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


7 posted 07-26-2006 05:58 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hey ya'll,

Thanks fer posting! I love the people here at pip! lolz

Bekah! Thanks again, but where's your poems?!?! I'm waiting to see whatcha got... I still need to write your poem, it's hard to find something good enough though! BTW - that's my favorite part(s) also. Great minds think alike? lolz

@-->---

buttercupbaby
Member
since 05-03-2006
Posts 399
outside in the rain


8 posted 07-26-2006 06:18 PM       View Profile for buttercupbaby   Email buttercupbaby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for buttercupbaby

hey stargal!! i really like this poem by you!!
my favorite stanza is
iím sure I sound selfish and Iíve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, Iíve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

this is defiantly my favorite part of the poem, its so true. I feel like i hear you saying this...this seems so strong to me, im not sure why. well, i love your poems!
thanks for sharing!!!
-missy
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 03-14-2006
Posts 527


9 posted 07-27-2006 02:49 PM       View Profile for bekahlekah45   Email bekahlekah45   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bekahlekah45

sorry stargal! i've been trying to write poems but im not sure what to write.  i'm having writers block horribly.  i was up till 4 this morning trying to think of stuff.  not even kidding. AHH!!!!

im tryin i'm tryin...
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


10 posted 07-27-2006 06:20 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

i really like this!!

Itís time that we talk
Time that you listen
Hear what I need you too
Before you sit up and speak

Itís not that I donít listen to you
Neither is it that I hate listening
Just at times I feel youíve got no clue
Whatís going on between us two

those stanzas i felt really spoke out the feeling behind ur poem
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


11 posted 07-27-2006 08:34 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

wow i liked this poem it was good......it made a lot of sense too.....hope to read more soon...
*hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

pencil&paper
Member
since 09-09-2006
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head


12 posted 09-10-2006 01:46 AM       View Profile for pencil&paper   Email pencil&paper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pencil&paper

i really liked this poem it really says alot my 2 favorite stanzas(not sure about spelling or even word lol)are:

Iím sure I sound selfish and Iíve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, Iíve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

Iím about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friendÖ who listens

surf_painter
Member
since 04-10-2007
Posts 434
Canada


13 posted 04-10-2007 08:52 PM       View Profile for surf_painter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for surf_painter

wow this was a very intense poem i liked it alot, your skills as a writer is amazing it is shown through your work
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 02-26-2006
Posts 590
USA


14 posted 05-06-2007 09:23 PM       View Profile for the_girl_next_door   Email the_girl_next_door   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_girl_next_door

I loved this stargal. It's been forever since i've been on this site my computer has been down for about two months so i haven't had the net. i can relate. great job!

heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


15 posted 05-07-2007 09:20 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Thanks Heather! It's nice to see you around again, I hope to be able to read something YOU have written soon

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

Bahigano
Junior Member
since 05-13-2008
Posts 31
Nebraska


16 posted 05-14-2008 11:58 AM       View Profile for Bahigano   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bahigano

I get where your coming from. i really enjoyed reading this from you. i hope to read more by you.
always
Lea
 
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