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Teen Poetry #7
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stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA

0 posted 2006-07-24 03:09 AM



It’s time that we talk
Time that you listen
Hear what I need you too
Before you sit up and speak

It’s not that I don’t listen to you
Neither is it that I hate listening
Just at times I feel you’ve got no clue
What’s going on between us two

You say you want to listen
That you want to hear what I’ve got to say
It just doesn’t seem true, to me, to you?
I’m tired of feeling this negativity surrounding you

You say I never answer when we interact
That I ignore the questions that you ask
Well, that could be true, but when I want to talk
Have a serious discussion between the two of us

You become the leader and I, the follower
The speaker, one, and the audience…of one
For once, won’t you let me be the speaker?
Controller of the topic, initiator of the conversation

I’m sure I sound selfish and I’ve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, I’ve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

I’m losing patience, kindness, and trust
Denying the evidence of, my own, self-destruction
The weight of my conscience is dragging me down
Pushing me onto the very ground, affecting me in various ways

I’m about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friend… who listens

© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

1 posted 2006-07-25 02:29 PM


I really really like this!  one of my favorites by you no doubt!!
I’m sure I sound selfish and I’ve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, I’ve got a right to speak
Thats deff. my favorite part ever!!!!
awesome job.  i love the message it gives out.  and just yeah i love it!

broken_smile1469
Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104

2 posted 2006-07-25 04:37 PM


i like this one a lot.  I can realate to it in a way... great poem!

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-07-25 04:56 PM


Thanks, both of you, I appreciate that ya'll took a moment to post on my poem  

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

4 posted 2006-07-25 06:36 PM


Yeah i understand, this has some of the same crap that I had in my poem. Not saying it's crap, maybe stuff is a better usage of the woud I'm trying to say. But other then that, your poem is much better then mine. But I guess that's just our opinions. but I love this one, and as you said before I can relate to your poem lol.  
The Shadow in Blue
Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493
EL, Michigan
5 posted 2006-07-25 06:46 PM


I like the theme of this poem and relatibility factor. To me the last 3 stanzas stood out. Great job Stargal!

~J.

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

6 posted 2006-07-26 12:16 PM


"I’m about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friend… who listens"

I decided that i LOVE this last stanza also.

I'm absolutely amazed at this poem.  i can relate so well...and well it was just so well done.  I felt the need to comment you again and remind you that i love this.  
great job!

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
7 posted 2006-07-26 05:58 PM


Hey ya'll,

Thanks fer posting! I love the people here at pip! lolz

Bekah! Thanks again, but where's your poems?!?! I'm waiting to see whatcha got... I still need to write your poem, it's hard to find something good enough though! BTW - that's my favorite part(s) also. Great minds think alike? lolz

@-->---

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
8 posted 2006-07-26 06:18 PM


hey stargal!! i really like this poem by you!!
my favorite stanza is
i’m sure I sound selfish and I’ve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, I’ve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

this is defiantly my favorite part of the poem, its so true. I feel like i hear you saying this...this seems so strong to me, im not sure why. well, i love your poems!
thanks for sharing!!!
-missy

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

9 posted 2006-07-27 02:49 PM


sorry stargal! i've been trying to write poems but im not sure what to write.  i'm having writers block horribly.  i was up till 4 this morning trying to think of stuff.  not even kidding. AHH!!!!

im tryin i'm tryin...

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
10 posted 2006-07-27 06:20 PM


i really like this!!

It’s time that we talk
Time that you listen
Hear what I need you too
Before you sit up and speak

It’s not that I don’t listen to you
Neither is it that I hate listening
Just at times I feel you’ve got no clue
What’s going on between us two

those stanzas i felt really spoke out the feeling behind ur poem

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
11 posted 2006-07-27 08:34 PM


wow i liked this poem it was good......it made a lot of sense too.....hope to read more soon...
*hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

pencil&paper
Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head
12 posted 2006-09-10 01:46 AM


i really liked this poem it really says alot my 2 favorite stanzas(not sure about spelling or even word lol)are:

I’m sure I sound selfish and I’ve never meant to be
Yet, from my perspective, I’ve got a right to speak
An urge to be stark with my words, to be free in my speech
This things pushing me beyond my abilities

I’m about to scream it out unto the world
My freedom has been denied in obliviousness
Cause the person that I love denies me a single gift
The common courtesy of a friend… who listens


surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
13 posted 2007-04-10 08:52 PM


wow this was a very intense poem i liked it alot, your skills as a writer is amazing it is shown through your work
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
14 posted 2007-05-06 09:23 PM


I loved this stargal. It's been forever since i've been on this site my computer has been down for about two months so i haven't had the net. i can relate. great job!

heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
15 posted 2007-05-07 09:20 AM


Thanks Heather! It's nice to see you around again, I hope to be able to read something YOU have written soon

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
              @-->---

Bahigano
Junior Member
since 2008-05-13
Posts 31
Nebraska
16 posted 2008-05-14 11:58 AM


I get where your coming from. i really enjoyed reading this from you. i hope to read more by you.
always
Lea

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