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Teen Poetry #7
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broken_smile1469
Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104


0 posted 2006-07-21 10:26 PM



the feeling I can't explain
is with me every day
I love you more then words
could ever begin to say

I can't express my feelings
but I know I will try
I’ve never told you how I feel
I guess I try to hide

to hide my love for you
I’m scared you will laugh
tell me I’m just crazy
just for thinking like that

you would never love me
I know that is true
I’ve been hurt before
I don’t want to be hurt by you

so I’ll keep it to myself
the words I dare not say
to hide my true feelings from the world
each and every day

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

© Copyright 2006 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

1 posted 2006-07-22 09:41 AM


I really like this one... But I wouldn't keep everthing inside, I'm a very outspoken person. Sometimes it's good to tell someone that you love them, tell that person what your feeling and I'm sure they'll listeen to you.
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-07-23 12:01 PM


"I’ve been hurt before
I don’t want to be hurt by you

so I’ll keep it to myself
the words I dare not say
to hide my true feelings from the world
each and every day"


This is one of my favorite parts in the whole poem! Yet, all in all, I liked all of it, I can relate so well to everything written in this that it is kind of scary, cause im quiet and I like to keep my feelings to myself, scared of being laughed at... Like everything you wrote was me, yet, not exactly me? I don't know what I'm talking about...

Umm... The only thing I would suggest is that you go back and re-read this poem. As you might see, or it's just me, some of the sentences need an extra word or word removed to make them make sense. The sentences are sometimes confusing in the wording, but that could be me again...

Great job on this poem, it was such a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing

@-->---

broken_smile1469
Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104

3 posted 2006-07-23 05:11 PM


thank you for your comments!

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

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