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WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

0 posted 2006-07-20 02:41 PM

~The guy I wrote this for was a really sweet guy, and even though we've since broken up, I still dedicate this to him.I don't still have feelings for him, butI think that once you write something for someone, it should always be theirs to keep.~

"Star light, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
have the wish I wish tonight..."

Those are the words I say each night,
before I go to bed.
Because before I turn out the light,
I let your image wander through my head.

You said you would rather be friends,
because friends don't go away.
And even though I'd rather be more,
I sucked it up and said that was okay.

"Star light, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
have the wish I wish tonight..."

I said that I still wish on stars,
and you asked what I wish for.
I said I didn't want to tell you,
you let it drop, but I knew you'd want more.

And I was right, it bothered me
enough that I'll tell you.
Yes, I'll tell you what I wish for
even though at first I didn't want to.

"Star light, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
have the wish I wish tonight..."

When I say these words to the stars,
and hope they will come true,
I'm nervous about telling you this,
because what I wish for? It's you.

I hope you won't take this lightly,
for when I am a guest,
of the starry council every night,
you, my darling, you are my one request.

So when I say I love you so,
please know that is what I mean.
I love you without reservation,
Yes, i love you, and I hope you love me!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2006-07-20 06:09 PM

Kelsey~
What a thoughtful poet you are~
This would be a treasure to anyone~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

oh_my_goshijustgotexcited
Member

since 2006-07-12

Posts 52
USA, IDAHO

2 posted 2006-07-20 09:12 PM

very nice, i thought the rhythym was a little bit off in parts but this was a very good write! keep it up
-later

Viola

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-07-21 12:10 PM

I really, really, liked this poem! It's one of the sweetest, nicest, poems I've read all day, well, and I spent all day in dark so that could be part of it...

The "Star light star bright first etc" I liked how you incorporated the little rhyme into the poem. It was interesting to see that along with a whole new poem! Kind of a little twist...

I'm afraid that I would have to agree with the rhythm thing though, I felt that in some of the stanzas it was stiff. I find that if you read the poem allowed to yourself a couple of times you'll be able to see what I'm talking about, if not, it's probably just me.

This was a pleasure to read I can't wait to see more! Thanks so much for sharing

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