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Teen Poetry #7
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i dont have a title
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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i dont have a title |
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oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
as these sweet days softly go by i cant help but sigh i cant help but sigh as i softly run along the sand and i reach for your hand a tear slowly slips down but i dont make a sound thinking of you does miracles for me thinking of you helps me see im not alone oh...im not alone after you left that cold winter day i just couldnt help but say i hated you how am i suppossed to carry on when you are gone as they slowly slip you into the ground my heart gives a loud pound i feel so empty but the way that you kept me all those years gone in a blink of an eye and..i cant help but sigh thinking of you does miracles for me thinking of you helps me see im not alone im not alone now that your gone i must carry on the tears that i cry help me heal so i can feel youre love, does miracles for me youre love helps me see im not alone i am never alone yeah i know its not that great....but i needed to put my feelings down somehow! |
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| © Copyright 2006 Viola Francis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThePrayers0faBrokenHeart Junior Member
since 2006-03-19
Posts 10guam, harmon |
this is a really nicee written poem. vi love it a whole lot!. good job. -chrisssssy<3333 |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Wow.. this was amazing. It kind of sounds like a song a little bit... I really like the words.. See most poems I like to be in perfect stanzas and stuff unless it's like this one.. very emotional.. I loved it.. great job.. I love the stanza that you repeated over and over. GREAT JOB.. one of my favorite by you.  ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
I agree with The Girl Next Door, this was a beautiful piece. Great job. ~Tempest~ |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
GREAT WRITE!!! lol, seriously, an amazing piece of art! As for a title, maybe........................... Now that your gone? Love the poem, keep writing! Love lots, Michelle |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey oh_my_goshijustgotexcited, Nice poem/song! Cause, I agree, it sounds kind of like a song. I must admit though that I didn’t feel like this was as good as some of the other poems I’ve seen written by you, no offence, I mean it was good, but the flow wasn’t always together, at least not when I read it. That could just be me, cause a lot of the time it is, but I felt like it could use a little improvement… I do like the idea of this being a song though, it seems to have the right … song like qualities in it? I don’t know, I’m not that great on judging songs… This part, thinking of you does miracles for me thinking of you helps me see I’m not alone Oh… I’m not alone” I loved this part! It was so sad and sweet… I really enjoyed reading this, thanks so much for sharing!  @-->--- |
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oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
lol thanks so much guys! i appriciate your comments i know it wasnt the best but sometimes i just need to vent ya know? lol thanks again! -later Viola |
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