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Teen Poetry #7
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WaterFairy103
Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196


0 posted 2006-06-29 07:50 PM


All my life I’ve
Been told to ‘Go forward’.
Class junkies and brown nosers alike
Despise this saying that
Everyone pretty much ignores.
Following my 14th birthday,
‘Go Forward’ has been my
Hypothetical mission in life,. But here’s an
Interesting question, a
Jarring thought
Keenly thought out point.
Let’s say, theoretically, of course,
My future would still be intact if I didn’t follow that
Neat little rule, that
Old, worn out saying.
Perhaps I want to go left or right?
Queer Idea, I know, but what if I choose to go in a
Radically different direction, choose to be
Simply mediocre?
Think about it, would it be that bad? Maybe my own
Unique happiness lies in not being the best, life’s
Valedictorian, if you will.
Why do I have to ‘Go forward?’
‘Xplain’ that to me, Mom and Dad, why are
You forcing me to ‘Go forward’ so
Zealously if I don’t necessarily want to?

© Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-06-29 11:47 PM


wow.. I understand you completely on this.. and I see what you mean..

I like how you explained this.. great job..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-06-30 10:39 PM


Hey Waterfairy103,

Once again I’m awe of your talents, this one has got to be my favorite by you so far! It’s simply amazing to me the way you voiced this your choice of words… simple yet logical yet deep? Or that’s what I think…

The only thing I didn’t really like was this part,

jarring thought
keenly thought out point.”
,

I am one of those people who don’t really care for repetitiveness and well, I admit that even two of the word “thought” is to much for me… No offence, I mean it wouldn’t be so bad, in my opinion, if they weren’t right next to each other but since they are I feel like we could do without…

Anyway, I loved the way you voiced this, the questions, and dare I say slight rebellion in this was a brilliant and pleasurable read to me.
I can’t wait to see more of your work in the near future

@-->---

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
3 posted 2006-06-30 11:36 PM


I loved it. I can totally relate to you. The thing Stargal pointed out does kinda throw you off but not really. If you or Staral or anyone else have another suggestion to replace that word I would speak up. And WaterFairy103, I am going to respect your wished and give you a "good job!". Good job!

                  Jessica    
            
    

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