navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Disappear
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Disappear Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
spaz02
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74
USA

0 posted 2006-06-29 01:55 PM


   tears
   fall
   hearts
   shatter
   more

               Lies
               I
               told
               myself
               will
               never
               let
               me
               be

   by
   myself
   I
   sit
   alone

               I
               think
               of
               my
               mistakes

   and
   melt
   into
   the
   air


© Copyright 2006 Amber Rose - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-06-29 11:42 PM


This is soooooo different & I love it. I love the way it is set up.. not like most poetry.. it has it's own unique thing going on.. great job. I'm not sure why no one else has replyed to this.. sometimes we just get busy on here and don't have time but maybe you will get some feedback..

great job..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
2 posted 2006-07-01 12:14 PM


It is uhhhh....different. I'm not really sure if I like it or dislike it. I'm in the middle. Nice write though. Nice words.

                  Jessica    
            
    

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-07-01 09:39 PM


Yeah, I agree on it being an interesting set up and I think it will take some getting used to on my part. Maybe, if it’s okay with you, I will try something like that? Sometimes it helps me decide if I like something or not if I try it…

Umm, I liked the words in this they were very good. Each one added a lot to the poem you didn’t really put anything in that didn’t have a purpose. Although, I must admit that the ending “stanza” like thing, wasn’t my favorite… I felt it kind of left us a little blank… but that’s just me… Yet didn't it add to the poem? Make the title make sense? Yes, it did, i changed my mind, i like it... lol

So good write once again, and like you know, I’d love to see more

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

4 posted 2006-07-02 05:49 PM


Awsome job!!!=) I like it so much. I agree with every body else. You did a really good job. Keep it up.

~You might have scars all over your body, but what about the ones engraved in your memories~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Disappear

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary