havent posted for a long time...so this is rough

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spaz02
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 74
USA

0 posted 2006-06-24 06:01 PM

No Title
You know how when your tearsfeel frozen,
like they just won't come out
as if they are stuck in your eyes
and just won't fall
You know how you just feel so angry and locked up,
but it's only because you put yourself in that position and won't tell anyone
You know how you hate to talk,
or you fear asking a question because it might start a conversation
and you don't want anything like feelings or emotions to leak out
You know how when you know know excatly what you want to say
but can't find the right words,
and then by the time you do
the perfect moment to say it just passed by
or if you do get to say what you wanted to
you wish you could take back what you said
because you let them into your thoughts and you didn't want them to know
You know how when you just want to cry so bad
because of all the confusion and anger you have inside
but then you just hold it in so that no one will ask you what is wrong
because you know you will have to talk about it
and don't want to or you are just not ready to
but then wonder if you will ever be ready
You know how when they try to talk to you
and even if it is a good thing you get all offended and
snap back rudly or with resentment
all just because you don't want to talk or be in a conversation
You know how you think those little thoughts
that are actually huge
but they seem small to you
You know how those little actions
trigger a big mistake and then the gun goes off
and there is nothing you can do to take it back
You know how they don't notice that somthing is wrong with you
and so it makes you even more angry
because they don't notice
and as much as you hide and keep to yourself
all you really want is for them to notice you falling and help you
but are afriad to just come out and speak it because they will use it against you
and make you feel even worse
or they just won't take it for what it is and make a big deal of it
and ask a million questoins you don't feel like answering
because you simply don't want to talk about it
You know how that somtimes you will mess up on purpose
so that maybe just maybe they will notice that you are struggling
and need there help
You know how when they think that everything is ok
and that they are so proud of you and brag about you to everyone
but really in the right mind
they have not the slightest idea
You know how you don't want them to know any of this
but then again you want to tell them all of it
but you just can't
you don't want a conversation
you just want them to know how you are feeling
and that be the end of it

"For every drop of my blood that falls is because of you" ~Spaz02~

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-06-24 08:31 PM

I've felt like that before. Like you want to tell out everything without them knowing anything. Or something like that? So you haven't posted in a while? Me either. This post was long. I think it muight have been better if it was sectioned off a little. Could be easier to read and keep your place. I flowed okay. I think it oculd have flown better but I can't really explain how. All in all it was pretty good. Nice write.

Jessica

The Shadow in Blue
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 493
EL, Michigan

2 posted 2006-06-24 08:45 PM

Hasn't everyone experienced this moment at some point in their life. I'd have to agree with Latteaddict about the flow and partitioning, but overall it was pretty good. I'll look for more of your work.

spaz02
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 74
USA

3 posted 2006-06-24 08:48 PM

thanks to both of u 2! i appriciate it...yaa i wanted to section it up but i had no idea how to...but ya every1 goes through it..but its just now hitting me hard so i had to get it out...writing s the only way i can get my emotions out

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

4 posted 2006-06-24 09:16 PM

i really liked. it was really ful of emotion.

i have that to, most of the time the only way i can get my emotions out is to write, i can rarely just talk about it.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

5 posted 2006-06-24 11:42 PM

I liked this alot.. I agree with the others about it being sectioned off.. it wouldn've been easier to read but I understand what you mean bc this poem has no specific rhythm or flow to it.. but it was really good. The emotions put into this was fantastic.. and yes.. I also agree that everyone goes through this at one point in their life.. great job.. I think there was one or two spelling errors (there close to the end should've been their) Great Write though..

I hope to see more out of you..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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