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Teen Poetry #7
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lonely outcast.
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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lonely outcast. |
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forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is 
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Being pushed back into the mold that I can’t fit in, The cage that im trying to climb out of again. Escaping to the place, and way past, Where I am no longer the lonely outcast. Im breaking down the walls surrounding me, Into the distance, I will flee. So I can leave and forget the past, And I will never again be the lonely outcast. I’ve gotten past the edges of history, Maybe the answer to life won’t still be a mystery, Now that all this pain has past, I won’t be called the lonely outcast. I’ve found a mold that I want to fit in, So I won’t have to try to escape again, I jump in; it’s far away from the cage I surpassed, Now i won’t be the lonely outcast. But I wander around, trying to find comfort, Looking around for some kind of support, But after all that, I made it at last, I will always be the lonely outcast. ~L |
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| © Copyright 2006 Becca - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey forever*wishing, I know you are probably wanting some comments on this, but i'm afraid i'm going to have to wait before i offer anything on this one. I want to read and think about this some more. I will post as soon as I feel like I know how i feel about this poem. Sorry for the delay, i just wanted to let you know that someone will post on this soon  @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
It was a bit repetitive with the lonely outcast thing but i think that it made the point clearly so i don't really mind. Good poem all in all. yeah. it was pretty good. |
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forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
i repeated it b/c thats the style of the poem...i dunno...i just thought it would work better for the title...and i just used that type of poem structure...ok, well, thanx for the tips! = ) ~L |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
I liked it, it kinda threw me for a loop at the end when it said "i will always be the lonely outcast" though...but that made it even better!!I'm also going to ponder this one...its interesting. -missy |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
I really don't know what to say except "woah" hope thats enough!! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Okay, I’m back to post… I myself feel like you did repeat the “the lonely outcast” a little much for my tastes. Yet like bekahlekah45 said it does get your point across, although I feel like you might’ve been able to do that every two stanzas and still get your point across, but what do I know? Nothing! Ha! Lol I felt like the transition was good in the last few lines, where you went from freedom to being caged again. If you aren’t careful you might miss the whole meaning of those last few stanzas, it was kind of subtle. I liked it though. My favorite stanza would be the 3rd, because sometimes I feel like that. At least I THINK I have the answers to life, when I really don’t, but who cares, that’s another story… I did enjoy that line immensely though, I related well to it… Great poem once again! And as for me… I can’t wait to see more writes from you, and hope that my own work will be even half as good as yours @-->--- |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
This was great and I agree.. I can't wait to see more post from you like this.. it's kind of different from what I'm used to seeing you post.. great job. |
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