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fake?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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fake? |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533
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Cant stand to look at myself This mirror reflects soemthing fake Its the comple opposite of who I am I've made so many mistakes I purposed to be myself Not to conform to the world But after awhile it was too hard And my challenging life began to unfurl Just like a carpet With piles of dirt underneath People think they know me But they know not what lies beneath One of these days i'll change And forever be myself But until I have the strength to, The secrets will be kept on my shelf this is a bit confusing...even to me and i wrote it. i just took everything i'm feeling at the moment, which is confusing! and made it into a poem. [This message has been edited by bekahlekah45 (06-06-2006 09:16 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Rebekah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey bekahlekah45, Okay, I like it. At least I think I like this poem? For me also it is a little confusing, so I’m going to ask you a question about it, if that’s okay? If not don’t answer… 1) When you said, “I purposed to be myself” are you saying you are living, striving to be yourself, Or is that a typo? It could be either, I’m just thinking that “purposed” might be a little confusing to the reader at first glance… although, I believe that I prefer the “purposed”. Also in that same stanza I mentioned above you have these lines “ But after awhile it was too hard and my hard life began to unfurl” for me on this stanza I do not feel that saying “hard” twice is… I don’t know what I’m talking about so if I can confuse you I apologize. Back to the saying it twice, I guess the only word to use would be repetitive, I believe you could say hard more than once in this poem. Yet having them in the same stanza, next to each other I feel like it doesn’t fit as well as something else could. I did like how you described yourself as a carpet that’s very unique, I’d never really thought about it that way, but it does make sense once I think about it. I really loved that part… Anyway, great poem, it’s a little bit different, I believe, than anything I’ve ever seen you write. Very enjoyable though. Thanks for sharing with everyone, I don’t know why I’m the only one to post on it so far… As always, Stargal  @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
yeah...when i said purposed i meant like i made it a point to be myself. does that make sense? Thanks for all the advice and such. I didnt even notice i used hard twice! yeah i dont like repetitive-ness very much...i'll hafta change that. thanks again stargal! Bekah |
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stuck_in_a_dreaM New Member
since 2006-06-07
Posts 8 |
yeah a lil confusing but all in all it was prety good. |
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TheCoolestKidYouKnow Junior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 11 |
Ew!! who do you think you are!!! you think you gopt talent....well you dont...get a life loser...hahah you thought you could write HAHAHAHHA |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
uhh... coolestkid are you for real? Cause if you are i think you better re-read the guidelines... @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
Its okay stargal..i guess everyones entitled to their opinions lol! |
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TheCoolestKidYouKnow Junior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 11 |
yes i am for real....she STINKS!!! dont let her live in a lie!! she has to live up to it one day!!@ |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
wow lol thanks for the positiveness! hahahaha this is great |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
coolestkidyouknow = bekahlekah45? no offence, it just kind of looks like that... @-->--- |
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TheCoolestKidYouKnow Junior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 11 |
hahah no but i just wanted to fool you...im a gfood friend of bekahs and we are accually talking right this second!! i love her to death....srry if i offended you...my name is danielle and im not a jerk.  |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
NOOO its not me!!! thats one of my friends lol |
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TheCoolestKidYouKnow Junior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 11 |
WE ROCK!!!! SHARPIES AND PERIODS...THEY HELP!! ~ME~ |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
AMEN SISTA! lol!! good times.... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
okay, this is wierd @-->--- |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Joking around is usually fine, but when you do it in public it can sometimes leave others with a really bad impression. Unfortunately for you, we take respect for others very seriously. It's no joke around here, I'm afraid. Had the disparaging remarks been limited to just two friends playing around, I would have simply asked both of you to take it somewhere else. We're not interested. As so often happens, however, the lack of respect spread and rude comments were left on the poetry of others as well. Sorry, but that won't be tolerated. All rude remarks outside this thread have been removed. Posting privileges for TheCoolestKidYouKnow have been suspended. The joke is now over. Feel free to email me directly if you'd like to discuss alternatives. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol stargal..me and danni..we have lots of inside jokes. she and i are just havin a lil fun here : ) |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
hahahaha woops we got in trouble. our bad. lol well thats not very good. |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this poem a lot.. unfurl? I'm not sure what you meant by that? maybe uncurl? I've never heard the word unfurl but maybe I'm wrong. lol.. as for the joking around. I don't like that too much either. I have to agree.. this site is one of my favorite and it's wasting my time reading stuff like that.. sorry no offense.. I loved your poem though.. Great write.. ~heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol thanks and if you dont like it dont read it. we were just bored |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
unfurl means to to unrole..to spread out..yeah like that |
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girlskater117 Junior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 32 |
Like ur poem alot. Hope u read mine. Good job. Amber |
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intention Member
since 2005-11-13
Posts 59New Delhi, INDIA |
this is an amazing post Love me for who i m |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
thank you all!!! |
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