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Foreverone8783
Junior Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 24
Illinios

0 posted 2006-05-30 11:44 AM

With all these thoughts
How could I sleep
It's all building inside
These secrets I keep

There's tears in my eyes
That refuse to fall
I stare at the painted stars
And think about it all

Was it your intention
To make me feel this way
What you said hurt me
I don't know what else to say

I can't change who I am
I can't change how I feel
Am I just making it out
To be a much bigger deal

The things that people say
I take to my heart
That's one of my faults
And it tears me apart

I believe what people tell me
Even when I know they're wrong
I'd say my biggest fault
Is not knowing how to be strong

So watch what you say
Whether joking or not
Because I dont want to hurt
I just want it to stop

But don't worry about me
I won't always be sad
It's not what you did
It's the life that I've had

Just give me time
TO get over it all
I've tripped before
I'm still learning to fall

Staring at the painted stars
That are so far from real
My inner thoughts are coming out
And this os just how I feel

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

1 posted 2006-05-30 12:16 PM

WOW. i really like it.
i especially like how this flows:

"The things that people say
I take to my heart
That's one of my faults
And it tears me apart"

and all the other stanzas(?) had the exact same rhythym. its hard to get that right like you did. good job.

~L

Foreverone8783
Junior Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 24
Illinios

2 posted 2006-05-30 12:24 PM

Thanks alot! It feels good to know that people like what I write. Im not a very share my feelings person, so it is all in poetry that I usually write, put in my book, and hide away. Thanks for you comments!

*^*Ashley*^*

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

3 posted 2006-05-30 04:51 PM

i defiantly agree with forever*wishing, that stanza flows PERFECTLY, so does:

I believe what people tell me
Even when I know they're wrong
I'd say my biggest fault
Is not knowing how to be strong

wow, thats really good..I like how you can just put your feelings into poetry so easily..Its great..

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away

i have decided to love, hate is too much to bear
-MLK, jr.

bekahlekah45
Senior Member

since 2006-03-14

Posts 533

4 posted 2006-06-03 06:58 PM

ditto to the 2 posts...I LOVE THIS!!!! its sooooooo good!! bravo! haha
seriously though..um i love it!

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

5 posted 2006-06-04 07:06 PM

i REALI LIKE THIS! IT'S REALLY GOOD AND IT'S FROM YOUR HEART.GOOB JOB AND KEEP WRITING!

Alone in the dark
Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss

6 posted 2006-06-28 04:40 AM

    "The things people say
     I take to my heart
     That's one of my faults
     and it tears me apart"

Taking things to heart may be an invitation to pain, but it's not a fault. It shows you're a compassionate, loving person who feels emotions deeply. And that's a strength Ashley, not a fault

   ^*^Angel^*^

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

7 posted 2006-06-29 11:20 PM

I LOVED ALL OF THIS.. GREAT JOB..

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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