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Teen Poetry #7

Ones You Can Trust

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-05-26 01:34 PM

Don't leave behind
the ones you love
remember to remind
them of the above

no matter what
life throws at you
remember never
to feel too blue

and if you
need to cry
don't be ashamed
don't be so shy

everyone needs
to let out their fears
don't hold it inside
for so many years

always remember
no matter what
the ones you need
are the ones you can trust.

love,
~missy

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2006-05-27 06:53 AM

some nice advice

enjoyed the rhyme

M

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-05-28 06:26 PM

Hey buttercupbaby,

Like wow! This poem is awesome.
I really liked the first stanza, I think it might be my favorite, if I had to choose favorites. It holds very good advice, like nakdthoughts said.

I also agree that the rhythm is nice, very good style, and I loved how you put the stanzas, where you put the breaks.

I know nothing I said is very helpful, but good job on this poem. I enjoyed reading your poem immensely. Keep up the good writes

@-->---

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

3 posted 2006-05-29 09:19 PM

REALLY nice! i also agree--it has a good rythym...keep it up!!!

~L

Foreverone8783
Junior Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 24
Illinios

4 posted 2006-05-30 11:59 AM

I really like your poem, it made me feel happier! I really get what you are saying its great advice and I just really liked it!

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

5 posted 2006-05-30 04:35 PM

well, thank y'all!!!thanks for the advice, it helps me!!I like writing in rhyming stanzas...So i sit for a while to think of the right rhymes, but yeah, thanks alot!!

~missy

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