»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
Birds Song
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
Birds Song |
|
|
pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
okay well i wanted to write about something other than pain, death, cutting and all the other painful things i write about. i hated this poem so im not gonna ever do a poem like this again. ok so heres something new: ____________________________________________________ Birds are very nice things Dont you love it when a bird sings? It flys so so swiftly dodging things carefully I wonder how it feels like to fly so nicly like a bird in the sky stretch my wings out fly so free birds dont have to walk like me But birds get shot left to rot Why do they shoot them for fun? Shoot,point,laugh,and done Im tired of standing by Letting them fall from the sky Hopefully, one day I will have my say ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Nora - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
different lol when doing something like this you should look at the angle of using the most unlikely descriptions and metaphors to describe what you want... write it simply then go through and chang the wording and redescribe it.. something maybe like 'don't you love the blue and red temptress' of the sky that coast with grace to and from as please' blah blah and so on. it was a very cool idea to write about something on a happier note tho  you shouldn't give up on it though... try to improve on it, it'll help keep your style flexible Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free -partially from " Slave of Love" by: Me. |
||
|
pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
lol hahaha thx for replying but i seriously HATE this poem with a passion i will try to improve on my happy side but i like my other poems better writing about death is what i do best  Thx again~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
||
|
Fabiani Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123Mesa, Az |
it has a intresting theme could use work but it has a simple theme that everyone can relate to |
||
|
pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
thx for replying! ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
||
|
bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
wth????? ummm dont really know what else to say |
||
|
pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
um thx? your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
||
|
nubee Junior Member
since 2006-05-15
Posts 10 |
heh. not to be mean or anything, but do you picture the glass half full? or half empty? =D lol. well i like the way you phrase your poems. you can actually rhyme a poem and make it sound good! -thnx ryan. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
