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Teen Poetry #7
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Sweetpali08
Junior Member
since 2006-05-07
Posts 40


0 posted 2006-05-07 10:20 PM


Hey:
Am new actually as many of you may know. Yeaa.. HMM. WEll you're honesty is expected. Thanks
-------------------------------------------

Things closed deeply.
Cutting the patience in me.
I wanted things to change.
To become better than today.
But who cares anyway.

I tried to cover in.
Dig anger in .
To fill it then release.
But we all know.
This isn't how the game is usually played.
Many must sacrifice for others who are worth living.
Sacrifice their whole lives.
And so few live to see.
That happiness comes slowly with patience.
Am going to try that too.
Am going to try that too.

Try to cover up the mistakes that were made on me.
And ignore things that simply were on the list of the free.
Patience is the key.
And yet many live to see.

That a smile isn't built within dreams.
But with goals that build smiles on dreams.

Throw hearts into hell.
Live for the world that acts to be.
Simply because patience will always be the key.
The key to my dreams.
It seems as if the only things heard now are only people with the loudest screams.

And so enemies must live to see.
That we are all dreamers who are dying to see.
A world of the free.





"How are they the VICTIMS if they are the OCCUPIERS?!"
~Paradise now


By:NMusa

[This message has been edited by Sweetpali08 (05-08-2006 09:44 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 Jannah - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-05-08 10:45 PM


This was very good for your first post.. I like your other one much better but I read a lot of meaning in this one..

Welcome to Pip.. I believe you will learn a lot from the people here.. I know I have..

Keep it up..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
2 posted 2006-05-08 11:07 PM


very nice.  very very nice
i loved it actually    awesome job
hope to see more from you

~nora <3

p.s))  WELCOME TO PIP!!!

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-05-09 12:07 PM


Welcome to pip sweetpali08~

I’m sorry that I have to agree with Heather on this not being my favorite by you so far, I did love the other one though!

I did enjoy this stanza a lot though,

” Throw hearts into hell.
Live for the world that acts to be.
Simply because patience will always be the key.
The key to my dreams.
It seems as if the only things heard now are only people with the loudest screams”


amazing imagery here, I loved the part where you said “throw hearts into hell”, very coo…

Well, I hope to see more of your posts, and I hope you like pip

@-->---

Sweetpali08
Junior Member
since 2006-05-07
Posts 40

4 posted 2006-05-09 12:27 PM


Ohh...
You guys are really sweet. I will take all ur suggestions,hopefully i can be a better poet.This is an honor to be in such a site.

Thanks

"How are they the VICTIMS if they are the OCCUPIERS?!"
~Paradise now

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