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pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

0 posted 2006-05-02 06:09 PM

Tired

Tired of waiting for the phone to ring
Tired of trying to sing

Tired of going to school
Tired of acting cool

Tired of waking up in the middle of the night
Tired of realizing its not going to be alright

Tired of being me
Tired of realizing im rushing by like a sea

Tired of seeing all the blood
Tired of splashing in the mud

Im either getting old
Or I just need someone to hold
~nora <3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx - P!ATD!

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-05-02 06:27 PM

I don't have much to say about this.. I'm the first to post.. wow.. I loved it.. I loved the meaning and the last lines.. it just ending perfectly..

keep it up.. I hope to hear more from you.. so going in my library if that is ok?

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

2 posted 2006-05-02 06:29 PM

i think the message works but the repetition of tired and all the rhyming... it doest work for me... thats just me

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-05-02 06:50 PM

Hey Nora,

Okay, I kind of agree that reading the "tired" part over and over does get annoying after awhile, i think if you had more between the tireds it might be better... but i'm not expert so just do what you want, cause it's your poem

Although, one thing i would suggest is that you change,

"Tired of being me
Tired of realizing im rushing by like a sea"

on the part where it's "a sea" i would change that to "the sea", just because i think it would flow better like that.

Anyway, great write on this one

@-->---

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

4 posted 2006-05-02 10:19 PM

thanks heather, tears, and of course stargal
for replying
thx for the advice ;]

~nora <3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx - P!ATD!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

5 posted 2006-05-02 11:49 PM

ah. wow. possibly the best ive seen yet. and i really love this one.

<3

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

6 posted 2006-05-11 10:35 PM

ahh ur making me blush :p
lol thx for the comment

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

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