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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2006-05-02 04:07 PM

Who can’t see through an empty mind
And straight to the heart?
Those are the kind of people that I hate.
Yes, hate. for you see, they never understand
A thing they are told. That person can only vomit in
Their heart. And sadly enough, in their happy ignorance,
They are a conglomeration of others. Who likes to see a living Picasso?

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

1 posted 2006-05-02 05:45 PM

powerful and awesome!!! yea, i hate those people too...GREAT write! keep them comin

~nora <3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx - P!ATD!

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-05-02 06:32 PM

I loved it.. I like how you use some many things to relate with reality.. nice job.. keep it up..

~heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-05-02 06:34 PM

Hey,

Like Nora said, great write on this one!

Although, i think i would have preferred not having the vomit part in it, not like it was my choice or anything, it's just a personal opinion, plus the fact that i abhor vomit, but it's only one word so i'm making a bigger deal out of this than it should be, and besides that it adds body/character to the poem, so yeah, you have my approval of the vomit part

lol... Like i said, great write, this is one piece i can actually understand and relate to also.

Keep up the good writes

@-->---

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

4 posted 2006-05-02 07:02 PM

i didnt enjoy it as much as i usually do your posts but its good. i do like the vomit part it adds to it

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2006-05-03 09:08 AM

thanks for taking the time to read. i used vomit specifically because of the violent image it produces.

poise_and_rationality
Junior Member

since 2006-05-06

Posts 46
my mind

6 posted 2006-05-07 10:48 AM

okay thyis wan't o0ne of your bests but keep up the good work never the less

par x

house of compusure where is your posture?

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

7 posted 2006-05-07 04:43 PM

ya, learn to spell and then tell me what you think of my stuff

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

8 posted 2006-05-07 08:15 PM

it was an ok write... i wasn't terribly impressed... i was definately turned off by the cocky reply to poise_and_rationality...you should really just be happy ppl read your stuff and not shoot down ppl that try to help by takin their time to comment on your work... but of course you can just call that an opinion...

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-" Slave of Love" by: Me. (posted in Dark Poetry)

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