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Teen Poetry #7
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spider bite.
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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spider bite. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
her bodys aching. her tummy's swirling. she thinks she's dying. her speech is slurring. the bite spreads. the mark fades. its inside her. through her thoughts it wades. it deepens more with the passing days. on the outside its healing. on the inside it stays. she covers the pain with moans of laughter. no one can tell even after... the infection takes over. leaving her grasping for air. she points to the bite. as they ask "where" I ask why, but in my mind, |
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| © Copyright 2006 Karissa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is horrible! but very interesting  and no i don't mean the poem is horrible, i mean it is, but not horrible as in you're a terrible writer, but as in horrible that she got bitten horrible?  lol... Great job, very unique, never saw anyone on here write about a spider bite, so it's cool you've thought of something new. I loved this, it makes my curious morbid side happy @-->--- |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
spider bite???? deffintly something new!! that was great!!! keep it up ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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Archea Member
since 2006-05-13
Posts 65United States |
very dark. i enjoyed reading it for the flow and rythm, but i dont think i liked the topic that much. still, i can tell some skill went into this one... |
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Fabiani Member
since 2006-05-12
Posts 123Mesa, Az |
It is a Great Meataphor~ |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
 im glad somone saw the metaphor. <3 I ask why, but in my mind, |
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