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Teen Poetry #7
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sins_and_tragedies
Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41
england

0 posted 2006-04-28 12:11 PM



Don't mention where you've been
or where you want to go.
Don't tell me 'bout all your sins
'cause I don't want to know.
I tried to give you everything
but all I got was nothing in return.
Maybe I try too hard
and it don't seem fair
I keep telling myself:

Who needs somebody like you?
I don't need somebody to waste my time.
Who needs somebody like you?
Someone like me
no matter how hard I try.

You got your life and that's a fact
but I got my dignity.
You may be happy with the way things are

but that ain't working for me.
I don't ask for perfection
but I've got to know

did you ever really care?
May be you are just a dream that won't come true

I keep telling myself:

Who needs somebody like you?...

Who needs somebody like you?...
I don't need nobody to tell me lies.
Who needs somebody like you?
Someone like me

And now I'm wondering why.

I keep comin' back 'til I can't take no more.

Who needs somebody like you?
I don't need nobody to waste my time. ...

Who needs somebody like you?
I don't need nobody to tell my lies. ...

is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality

© Copyright 2006 Danielle - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-04-28 08:51 PM


Hey,

I really, really, liked this poem!
The only thing was that i thought the organization was kind of wierd, like where you put breaks for stanzas and stuff, and also the grammar, there are a few things in it that do not sound right.

Although, my all time favorite lines in this have got to be,

"Don't mention where you've been
or where you want to go.
Don't tell me 'bout all your sins
'cause I don't want to know"


that part is just awesome!

Keep writing, i'd love to see more if their as good as what i've read so far

@-->---

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