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Teen Poetry #7

drowning

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2006-04-22 01:20 AM

im drowning in these thoughts of you.
i cant get up for air.
im drowning in these thoughts of you.
it really isnt fair.

your eyes burn into me
what a suffocating stare
your thoughts penetrate me
i feel naked and bare.

too bad you dont care.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2006-04-22 10:34 AM

ok...I LOVE this....
it doesn't even need to be any longer...it's got a nice zinger on the end of it too....well done

Junebug
Junior Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 40
earth

2 posted 2006-04-23 01:00 AM

OK that poem totally rocks!! its so awesome! and the words you used all worked together! but ya totally awesome!

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

3 posted 2006-04-24 01:21 AM

excellent! just like me... short and sweet and point got across~

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

4 posted 2006-04-24 06:44 PM

WOW!!! I can really relate to this. All the words you used and how you used them all works awsomely together. Love this.

Jessica

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

5 posted 2006-04-26 01:48 AM

Okay, so basicly everyone else has said everything you need to hear, let me just say i agree, i love this poem! and even though this is perfect and it doesn't need to be longer, it would still be neat if it was

Umm, i don't really know what to say, except that this was an amazing write...

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