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sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-04-16 08:57 PM

My heart
b
  r
    e
     a
      k
       s

under your spell

What did I do for you to

     l.o.v.e
me so ....well...

nothing my dear.
nothing important.

it's just that you tell them
w
  h
   a
     t
      e
       v
        e
         r

they want to hear.

I hate that you remind me of myself.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-04-16 10:02 PM

People might not read this because it's titled "God". I don't mind at all. It's the people who judge this before they even read this who bother me. I like the way that you
w
r
  o
   t
    e
those words. That's cool. Why did you name it God? Ummm...just wondering, Is God the person you're talking to? I think that it could have flowed better. If you want it to flow. I don't think that you were trying to make this a rhyming poem. I don't know.....I guess that it could be organized better...I just don't really know how to explain it. Sorry if I'm not much help.

                 Jessica

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2006-04-16 10:03 PM

People might not read this because it's titled "God". I don't mind at all. It's the people who judge this before they even read this who bother me. I like the way that you
w
r
  o
   t
    e
those words. That's cool. Why did you name it God? Ummm...just wondering, Is God the person you're talking to? I think that it could have flowed better. If you want it to flow. I don't think that you were trying to make this a rhyming poem. I don't know.....I guess that it could be organized better...I just don't really know how to explain it. Sorry if I'm not much help.

                 Jessica

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-04-16 10:06 PM

oops! Sorry! I posted twice. I guess that his will be the third huh? Oh well now at least more people will be interested in reading it.

Sorry again,
Jessica

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

4 posted 2006-04-20 11:01 PM

I liked this very much... I agree at first.. i didn't read it bc it was GOD but I mean i'm christian.. but usually i'm in the mood for love poems etc.. but this was awesome.. keep it up..
'
~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

ShelbyLynn13
Member

since 2006-02-15

Posts 73
US, Colorodo

5 posted 2006-04-21 03:08 PM

that is a realy neat poem! iloved it

every one is special in their own way!!!

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