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Teen Poetry #7
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curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england

0 posted 2006-04-13 02:27 PM


why do i have to be a million different personalities,
for a million different people?

why do i have to talk a million different ways,
for a million different people to understand?

why do i have to be nice to one,
and extremely nice to another?

why do i have to be ashamed infront of you,
and be free infront of him?

why do i have to look towards the floor when they pass by me,
and open armed when my friends pass by.

why do we have to hide our personalities to the world.
why do i have to show and be so many people,
yet never be myself.

why, because people will be frightened of my flirtasiouse nature,
my crazy attitude and caring closeness.

by bieng in all these different states of mind.
by bieng the way you all want me to be,
i am loosing myself,
i am loosing me and what i want to be.

YOU are loosing me,
and what i could be.

and i promise you I am much better than what you all are making me into.

let me be,
for you to see ME...


i'm looking for you...always...

© Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved
latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
1 posted 2006-04-13 05:38 PM


Nice. No offence but I think it's a bit jumpy. It's not that organized. Oh that sounded mean. I just mean that it could be organized better. You get my drift? There  could be the same number of lines per stanza. Cheers.

                 Jessica

dramaticaddict
Junior Member
since 2006-04-13
Posts 10
ny, usa
2 posted 2006-04-13 07:44 PM


i really really loved this poem,
it totally hit home for me

my fav line is definitely: "and i promise you I am much better than what you all are making me into"

kudos to you!

<3cassie.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-04-13 08:52 PM


Hey Curiouse,

Great poem, i can relate to this in so many ways, it's like we all where different masks, i don't know about you, but i'm getting tired of the "game"

I actually didn't think it jumped around to much, a little bit yes, but nothing dramatic. The one thing i noticed most was the flow, it was kind of stiff in a lot of parts, i also felt in some parts words that were there didn't belong.

Also spelling.

my favorite line has to be,

"let me be,
for you to see ME..."


thanks fer sharing!

@-->---

curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england
4 posted 2006-04-14 05:17 AM


Thankyou avaeryone it's nice to know that i'm not the only one possesing these feelings,and as stargal says i think were all getting a little tired of the game.
smiles,
curiouse

i'm looking for you...always...

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