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Teen Poetry #7
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xox.ice.cream.lover.xox
Junior Member
since 2006-01-07
Posts 20
Canada

0 posted 2006-04-11 10:16 PM



You've broken my heart
Many times before
And yet, it's still you
That I love and adore

I've sworn to forget you
Told myself I didn't care
But still, somehow,
In my heart you're always there

Maybe I'm scared
Of dreaming yet another fantasy
Maybe I'm scared
That again, it's just me

'Cause it's you I'm so drawn to
It's been you from the start
'Cause it's you that's my sunshine
It's you that has my heart.

© Copyright 2006 Sabrina R. - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-04-11 10:52 PM


Simple and sweet.. I loved it..
~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-04-12 09:56 AM


Again, like heather said... waaaait! I seem to be copying Heather all the time in my comments... lol

Okay, I love this poem, I LOVE your style, although you might think/get tired of/having your poems called simple, i think that is the best way to describe them!

I loved the whole poem, the only thing that i thought was a little off was the flow, nothing very big, just if you read through it in a couple spots it is a little stiff.

Although, my favorites lines have really got to be,

"I've sworn to forget you
Told myself I didn't care
But still, somehow,
In my heart you're always there"


I love that part, i can relate to it in many ways.

Keep writing, i'd love to see more!

@-->---

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
3 posted 2006-04-17 11:42 PM


I really like it. It's short and sweet. I don't know about the simple calling thing that stargal brought up though. It flowed extremely well. Very well organized also. It's one of the BEST poems I've read today. It's definitely going in to my library favorites.

                      Jessica

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