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Teen Poetry #7
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curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england

0 posted 2006-04-01 01:22 PM



I know that I’m o.k.
I know that I’m going to make it
And you did it all
You made me believe that...
I could be whatever I desired
You made believe I was your epidemy
I was wonderfully beautiful
I was intelligent and full of personality
I was your woman!
And no one could take that away from us…
Except for her of course
That one that you just fell in love with.
Like that girl was more than me.
More than I could ever be
Until now that is...
Now that you have come back to me.
Now that she’s not what you thought
Well, baby I’m not either
I’m not a pushover,
Or a hangover for that matter...
And you were right,
I am beautiful,
Intelligent
And full of personality...
..Enough to realize when I’m being used
And when I’m being loved
So I met and found and love someone
Who wants ME…
So I don’t need you anymore,
But then again you can fool anyone
So I don’t believe you need me...
All the best….

Curioustity is a fine gift...

© Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-04-01 02:16 PM


This is a good poem; I love how you’re all “I don’t need you anymore” more power to you!

One thing you might think about is stanzas, yes, I’m a stanzas kind of person, I like them just because they make it so much easier for me to read the poem, also because it breaks the poem up, so that each stanza is a different part of the story, not just one long flowing thing, but either way is cool.

You might want to read this poem allowed to yourself, I feel like it is stiff in some spots, but that could just be me…

Good job though, I really like this poem!

@-->---

aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes
2 posted 2006-04-01 02:38 PM


Love you’re poem!! Great idea
I do have to agree with stargal about the stanzas, it would make it easier to read


*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2006-04-01 11:24 PM


Very strong write, glad you're taking action!

~Alli~

latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
4 posted 2006-04-03 01:06 AM


i agree stanzas would be good for this.

                  Jessica

(ps. sorry i cant offer more right now maybe later)

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
5 posted 2006-04-08 08:29 PM


I'm back. Maybe you could even out the lines a little bit. the poem is really good just needs some organization.

                Jessica

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