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Teen Poetry #7
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sometimesitslonely
Junior Member
since 2005-12-27
Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-25 07:55 PM


Around here,
I've got friends miles wide,
around here,
I've got a boyfriend to hold me at night.
Around here,
I've got the highest grades in the school,
around here,
I dominate most everyone I know.
Around here,
this town is so sleepy,
around here,
it's so boring to even be awake.
Around here,
everyone knows every one,
around here,
you find a reason not to wake up.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

© Copyright 2006 sometimesitslonely - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-03-26 12:25 PM


Hey,

I really liked how this poem started out but I felt like it left you asking for more? Dare I put it that way? I guess I was just a little disapointed, cause i feel like the poem doesn't go anywhere, the ending left something to be desired...

I'm sorry, I guess that's just my opinion

@-->---

curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england
2 posted 2006-03-26 09:06 AM


i'm afraid i agree with stargal
aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes
3 posted 2006-03-26 12:58 PM


I agree with stargal.You could make it better.
But I do like what you’re trying to say if I got what you’re saying right.  


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