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Passions in Poetry

Emotions

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stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


0 posted 03-23-2006 06:42 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for stargal

Anger and Frustration
Hate and Dissipation
Normal emotions that I feel
These things making me spin like a wheel

Here I go
Round and round
Without stops
Getting dizzy
I can't hang on
It's time to let go
Time to move on
  
New emotions
Lots of devotions
Seeing you, finding me
This is where I want to be...

© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 03-21-2004
Posts 3212
The World of Poetry


1 posted 03-23-2006 08:36 PM       View Profile for *Alli4000*   Email *Alli4000*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Alli4000*

I really liked how the second stanza flowed.  The words just had a kind of rhythem to them.  Anyway, great job.  I love reading your poems.

~Alli~
mgoodman1989
Member
since 03-05-2006
Posts 93
Iowa, USA


2 posted 04-02-2006 08:44 PM       View Profile for mgoodman1989   Email mgoodman1989   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mgoodman1989

Really good write... First stanza could have flown better, but all in all, it was great... Keep writing you have a real knack for poetry!!!


               Michelle
electricxheart
Member
since 09-05-2004
Posts 184
far away from home.


3 posted 04-02-2006 09:47 PM       View Profile for electricxheart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for electricxheart

awesome ending!
i liked it a lot.

--kelly
aliway
Member
since 03-05-2006
Posts 185
With in your eyes


4 posted 04-02-2006 10:42 PM       View Profile for aliway   Email aliway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aliway

Great poem.
Keep writing, you’re great at it

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


5 posted 04-02-2006 11:11 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

mgoodman1989
I agree with you on the first stanza, i'm just not sure yet how i want to change it yet make it say the same sort of thing.

Thanks for the comments everyone! I'd kind of given up hope on this post

@-->---

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-17-2006
Posts 526
Colorado


6 posted 04-03-2006 12:42 AM       View Profile for latteaddict213   Email latteaddict213   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latteaddict213

i like the first and last stanzas. the middle just didnt seem right. it didn't flow well in my oppinion. all in all it was a nice write.

                Jessica
mgoodman1989
Member
since 03-05-2006
Posts 93
Iowa, USA


7 posted 04-19-2006 05:46 PM       View Profile for mgoodman1989   Email mgoodman1989   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mgoodman1989

What if you changed

Anger and Frustration
Hate and Dissipation
Normal emotions that I feel
These things making me spin like a wheel

to .... normal emotions that i feel
        internally spinning like a wheel?

I dunno
Internalexile
Junior Member
since 06-15-2006
Posts 38
UK


8 posted 06-18-2006 05:27 AM       View Profile for Internalexile   Email Internalexile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Internalexile

Great,I love the enotional wheel metaphor v clever

Internalexile

Let the moonlight paint your face, let the stars be your cloak...

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 03-14-2006
Posts 527


9 posted 06-18-2006 08:45 AM       View Profile for bekahlekah45   Email bekahlekah45   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bekahlekah45

i like this one : )
its really good!!
Frank W. Torres
Member
since 06-10-2006
Posts 132


10 posted 06-18-2006 09:00 AM       View Profile for Frank W. Torres   Email Frank W. Torres   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Frank W. Torres

Yea!
spaz02
Member
since 06-28-2005
Posts 74
USA


11 posted 06-24-2006 06:31 PM       View Profile for spaz02   Email spaz02   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spaz02

this was great...i know how it feels...im def. reading more of urs..

"For every drop of my blood that falls is because of you" ~Spaz02~

loveislove
Member
since 06-25-2006
Posts 60
USA


12 posted 06-25-2006 12:15 PM       View Profile for loveislove   Email loveislove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for loveislove

i have to go with the majority on the first stanza but all in all it was a relatively good poem...youre a natural at it..keep writing

"when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join them in a mutual weirdness and call it love-true love"

hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


13 posted 06-26-2006 01:14 AM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

i agree with latteaddict213 on the flow of the middle stanza. i liked
Anger and Frustration
Hate and Dissipation
that was a nice rhyming scheme too.....good job
*hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


14 posted 06-26-2006 09:12 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

Hmm... Thanks for being honest in your opinions on the poem. It is very much appreciated that you all took the time to post!

Since the general feeling is that the first and second stanza aren't that great. I think that I shall start rewriting this one as soon as I can and see what I can come up with...

Once again, thank you all for posting replies

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


15 posted 07-17-2006 05:55 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

I really like this poem. When I was reading it (it might seem wierd) but I got dizzy. But I might of just been dizzy from the start. But I really enjoyed reading what you wrote.
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


16 posted 07-17-2006 08:44 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

i liked it. not much else i can think of to say. i thought it was great a whole
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 03-14-2006
Posts 527


17 posted 07-17-2006 10:00 PM       View Profile for bekahlekah45   Email bekahlekah45   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bekahlekah45

hey stargal i've missed talkin with ya! i've been in new york for the past 2 weeks!  
we'll hafta catch up soon : )
Digital_Hell
Member
since 06-05-2006
Posts 193
Amidst black roses


18 posted 07-20-2006 06:11 PM       View Profile for Digital_Hell   Email Digital_Hell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Digital_Hell

I liked it a lot. Im not so sure that i think the flow should be worked on. It comes together nicely the way it is. A most enjoyable read.
IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995
New Member
since 11-26-2008
Posts 2


19 posted 11-26-2008 06:07 PM       View Profile for IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995   Email IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995

This reply of mine goes to Alli.Alli I totally agree with you the second stanza really works and flows and it kinda does have a rythem to it.You are totally right!This second part of my reply goes to Stargal.Stargal I think you are an awesome poet so keep up the good work!I LOVE the way your CREATIVE JUICES just flow!I just have one little question for you STARGAL! Did this poem come to you easily or did it take you a while to come up with it or was this the way you were feeling at the time you wrote this poem, so how did this poem come to you?

Kateyshine911
New Member
since 11-20-2008
Posts 4


20 posted 12-04-2008 06:04 PM       View Profile for Kateyshine911   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Kateyshine911

im a girl of small words today because my kitten is missing
but i liked your poem alot and would love to read more!!!
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


21 posted 12-15-2008 06:56 PM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995,

It has been awhile since I wrote this poem that I'm not quite sure what happened. One stanza just built upon the next until I have what you now see. Most of my poems I actually have trouble relating with, I suppose on some inner level I probably was feeling this way at the time. Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you read it.

Katey,

I'm sorry to hear your kitten is missing. I hope you found her/him well.

Thank you for taking the time to read.
lilmissflyaway
Junior Member
since 01-19-2009
Posts 15
ohio,usa


22 posted 01-19-2009 03:32 AM       View Profile for lilmissflyaway   Email lilmissflyaway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lilmissflyaway

omg yesss
i totally c what you mena in this one
i love it
-great job
nina1522
Member
since 02-14-2009
Posts 189


23 posted 02-14-2009 09:13 PM       View Profile for nina1522   Email nina1522   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nina1522

I really enjoyed reading this. yeah i really like the second stanza
stargal will be notified of replies
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