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Teen Poetry #7
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aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-03-20 07:53 PM


i’m so distant from you
you wonder why
it’s so easy to see
it’s in front of your eyes.
you married that guy
I don’t know why
i’m to live with him
when I don’t even know how he is

explain that to me
because I don’t know how
you could do this
to your every own kids
expecting us to be pleased with you
putting us through all these things
you must be made
because were not liking this

i’m trying to go with it all
but all I can do is cry
asking god why
you could do this
a year after you divorce
are dad
that I love so very much

I cant help but feel lost from it all
wondering how you could be so clueless of things
all I can do is think your ashamed of us
to be seen with us
you can never be
only you two can go out
living us home to think
how to hate you even more

now you want me to say
I love you
you must be kidding
first I have to believe
i’m loved by you
for right now all I can feel
is that distant between
that can never be healed

all you do is toss it aside
not caring at all
thinking nothing is wrong
but its not ok
open your eyes and see
be for I live

i'm saying my good byes


© Copyright 2006 Leah S. - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-03-20 08:38 PM


wow.. this was a great poem..  a little confusing but it was good. You made some spelling errors that I caught and you also used 'your' a lot instead of 'you're'... but I loved the idea of this.
Keep it up..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-03-23 01:25 AM


Omgosh! This poem has so much emotion in it... You have some spelling errors, but i love this poem all the same.

Great write!

@-->---

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2006-03-23 01:33 AM


the spelling errors really throw the reader off...but the emotion is felt...


*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2006-03-23 06:09 PM


Nice job.  Can't wait to read more from you.

~Alli~

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