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Teen Poetry #7
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Sexy
Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53


0 posted 2006-03-14 01:49 PM



Here i am at the bridge
to scared to jump but
yet im to afraid to stay
for every little mistake
i've made i want to die.

No one understands what im
going through.. no one really
notices that im all fake...
from the smile
to the laugh....
nothings real, nothings me.

I loved you but now your gone
to, god im ready to die... I  
cant go on without you. My
true love doesnt love me. No
one will relize im gone when
i leave..

Now as i look down to jump
i hear someone behind me...
How can that be the person
grabs me.... and just as i
relize it it him, hes the
only one that can save me
now.....

© Copyright 2006 Sexy - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-03-14 05:26 PM


I liked your poem.. there was some spelling mistakes and you changed your point of view.. the third stanza says "i love you" and the last stanza says, "it was him" so you changed your view.. see? but overall it was good..

Keep it up.. good depth..
~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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