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Teen Poetry #7
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sometimesitslonely
Junior Member
since 2005-12-27
Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-12 12:39 PM


Here comes that awkward feeling,
of knowing you're alone and no one is saving you,
what am I to do?

Here comes that silence that is so loud,
I enjoy it a little too much,
it beats your touch.

Here comes that pain and tears,
hold me close so you can feel,
and you won't.


This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

© Copyright 2006 sometimesitslonely - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-03-12 02:12 PM


I liked this very much.. it said a lot in so few words the last stanza kind of confused me but I liked your write.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
2 posted 2006-03-12 02:16 PM


i would have to agree. what do you mean in the last stanza? the rest is beautiful.

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-03-12 04:44 PM


Hey,

I liked each stanza on it's own, but when i put it all together i couldn't understand the poem?

Would you care to enlighten this poor fool?

@-->---

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member
since 2005-12-27
Posts 41
USA
4 posted 2006-03-12 04:46 PM


Really, the poem has nothing to do with anything, at all. I just wrote it with a song by TBS and it seemed to fit.
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2006-03-17 07:11 PM


Short and sweet write, very nicely done.

~Alli~

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