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littlemiss
Junior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 16

0 posted 2006-03-02 04:54 PM

When I see you I can’t breathe
It burns so hard, my chest is tight
I glance across at you
You’re a magnificent sight.

A work of art,
You break the mould
All these feelings
That are left untold

If ever I see your picture
It makes me cry
And with each tear the trickles down my face
It tears me up inside

I can’t explain it,
It feels untrue
I can’t get this out of my head
I don’t think I can go on without you

It’s so complicated
This situation I’m in
It has to be debated,
Should I carry on or give in

I’m not sure what to do
I don’t think I could take much more
It kills me to see you
When you don’t know the score

I wish I could hold you, and never let go
I wish I could tell you how I feel
Scream from the rooftops to just let you know

That with every breath without you I take
Another piece of my heart begins to break
When he hugs me I wish it were you
I know it sounds harsh, but it’s true

I wanted to restore your faith in the female race
Make you so happy
See that glow in your face,
And your beautiful smile again

I wanted to be the one
The one the made all your dreams come true
But I guess I’ll never have that chance
As before it even begun it was through

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2006-03-02 05:39 PM

Welcome to Pip...

I enjoyed your first post...

*please check your email for a special greeting!

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-03-02 07:37 PM

WELCOME TO PIP! I really liked this piece and I too can relate from a while back.

Hope to hear more soon.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

helenadepp
Member

since 2006-01-16

Posts 59
durham, england

3 posted 2006-03-06 03:22 PM

A good start! Welcome to PIP!

"Scream from the rooftops to just let you know"

I think that it would flow better if it was scream from the rooftops just to let you know. It flows slightly better, well in my mind anyways.

*Hugs*

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

4 posted 2006-03-06 09:06 PM

Welcome to pip!

i agree with helenadepp. it would sound better.great start.

once again :

Welcome to pip!

           Jessica
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

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