shh....dont tell. - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #7

shh....dont tell.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2006-02-26 10:17 PM

dont speak
keep silent.
i dont want them to know.

in deep.
feel violent.
tell me does it show?

im sick.
this feeling....
its creeping up slow.

its bad.
im falling.
and he's never gonna know.

-karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

1 posted 2006-02-27 12:15 PM

If you don't mind me saying "CRAP" this is so so so so good

it like makes you read the next line.......think u did awesome

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 248

2 posted 2006-02-27 06:15 AM

Wow karissa...this is fantastic. At first I was a little wary about it, but wow. I'm extremely impressed. Your words pull the reader through the poem, forcing the next line upon them. I loved it, plain and simple, and the ending was perfect. Brava!

<3kerR

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

3 posted 2006-02-27 06:06 PM

This was a great poem. I agree I did think at first that it wasn't all that until I read to the end. Fantastic. I loved it. I can relate.
Keep it up.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

4 posted 2006-02-27 10:13 PM

each one of your line force the reader to go on to the next line. Wonderful.

            xoxo
           Jessica
              :)

       Where your heart lays
        is where you belong.

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