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Teen Poetry #7
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Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-02-18 03:27 PM



Im all alone no one beside me
fearing that maybe no one will find me


but It's not that peaceful knowing that there is always someone behind me
to watch me just roll down the hill, and to know that they will always climb over me


and the darkness is scary
no one really weary
that this may be it
that this may be me
trying to understand but never really get it
of why my life is just based on running away


I don't sleep
I don't eat
but no one really sees that my life sucks and I'v had enough
why cant they just believe? that what I say is true

just go away
leave me alone
all I want is a permanent home
no running away, and no feeling that maybe i might not live till the next day!!!

© Copyright 2006 Free_Spirit07 - All Rights Reserved
latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
1 posted 2006-02-18 03:52 PM


.............................................................................................wow................................................................................

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
2 posted 2006-02-18 09:46 PM


Great job!!!  This was amazing-keep up the GREAT work!

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
3 posted 2006-02-21 02:57 AM


umm thank you both....but was that "wow" a g00d one or a bad one???

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

acid_tears_i_cry
Junior Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 24
United States, UT
4 posted 2006-02-21 12:08 PM


wow this has a lot of emotion put into it...I respect that...good job...

I cant Look at the  shade andymore..its become too bright

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
5 posted 2006-02-24 12:14 PM


thank u

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
6 posted 2006-02-27 11:00 PM


it was a good wow. no it was a great wow. your work is wonderful you should do more daily. if you want to ofcourse. dont want to add any presure. just want to give support

           Jessica    
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
7 posted 2006-02-28 10:02 PM


I liked this poem very much. I had a little trouble reading it with a rythim but I think it's because I had to stop at a couple of places and read it twice because of a spelling mistake(add s to words that don't need it or left if off where they do) Other than that this was a good piece and I hope to read more with this kind of depth.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
8 posted 2006-03-01 09:23 PM


Sorry....umm what? could you tell me where? im really am dumb.........but would love to know if you could tell me Heather! Thank you

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
9 posted 2006-03-01 10:07 PM


where do you have more s's than you need?

           Jessica    
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
10 posted 2006-03-01 10:22 PM


Well now that I go back and read it.. this part

'trying to understand but never really get it
of why my life is just based on running away'

When I read over it, it sounded like it needed an 's' (not had to many sorry) maybe it's just the way I read it. It just sounded to me like the way I was reading it (the point of view) that it would need an s after get to make gets it. or maybe and 'ing' instead. "but never really getting it" Sorry for the confusion. I was trying to remember what I read while replying.

Sorry again, but great write. Hope to hear more.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
11 posted 2006-03-02 03:25 AM


Umm sorry! I still not getting you...umm what word or words in that bit of my poem needs the "S". u dnt have to answer me but would really like to know

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
12 posted 2006-03-06 09:10 PM


i think that it was only one where she said it was. that should be changed to ing instead of adding an "s". Right?

           Jessica    
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
13 posted 2006-03-06 09:39 PM


Hey again..

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding..

this part


"trying to understand but never really get it"

when i first read is sounded like it needed an s after 'get' but now that i go back i think it needs an 'ing' "geting"..like Jessica said. sorry..

again..
Nice Write

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
14 posted 2006-03-06 10:20 PM


good write thanks for sharing looking forward to reading more
Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
15 posted 2006-03-06 11:30 PM


Hey oh man thanks a heapo
I thought i was going insane .....  
ok well thank you EVERYONE for giving me some input.......THANK YOU ALL

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
16 posted 2006-03-07 12:42 PM


Sorry, I’m a little lost on your poem!
Yes, it expresses a lot of emotions, but it also jumps around a bit.
One minute I’m thinking you mean something, than it all changes and I think you mean something else!

… Other than that it was great, nice flow

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
17 posted 2006-03-07 01:51 AM


Hmm ok then lemme see if i can tell you what its about...so maybe then you will understand it better. well its sorta hard I dunno how to explain it...im sorry im no help at all!  
I get you....and maybe i can fix it. THANK YOU

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

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