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Teen Poetry #7
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LOSTANDFORGOTTEN
Junior Member
since 2005-12-22
Posts 16


0 posted 2006-01-25 10:08 PM



I stare at the reflection,
The mirror gives off,
The red eyes and messy hair,
Of a girl that lost it all,

The black circles will hint,
The low eyes may show,
Of a girl who doesn’t belong,
Of a girl who know one knows

Her soul is strangled by hate,
Mind twisted by tears,
Body destroyed everday,
From all her senseless fears

Her smile will be hidden,
Her laughs faked on request,
Shell put herself down for you,
Anything to feel less,

The tears won’t stop coming,
She screams in the night,
God why have u don’t this,
I’m giving up the fight,

I don’t want this pain,
Eating me alive,
I don’t want to go on,
My soul just cant survive,

Don’t want the sadness you gave me,
Come on… just take it back,
I cant fake another smile,
Im over, done with that,

So ill say it again and again,
So it gets in your head,
Im not ok, I hate my life,
Times wishing I was dead.



© Copyright 2006 LOSTANDFORGOTTEN - All Rights Reserved
EagletonDiva
Member
since 2006-01-11
Posts 107

1 posted 2006-01-26 12:33 PM


The hardest thing in the world to do is forgive God for we think he does.  He gave us free will which unfortunately means people can choose to do evil.  If he forced His will on us then He would not be God.  he does not give us grief, it is Satan who comes to kill, steal and destroy.  You are stronger than you think, tougher than your life and infintely worth more.  You inspire me in ways I shall always treasure.  Poetry is a great to express your pain.
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2006-01-26 12:44 PM


I liked the "feel" of this poem, and although it is always easy to blame someone else for what is happening or even not happening with us, ultimately it is our own mind that controls how they can actually make us "feel." The one thing we were given no one can take away is a sense of self-worth and identity, and no matter how hard someone tries to strip of us that - they can't until we allow it. That is the bonus!

"Wishing I was dead" is giving up, but wishing to live is winning!  I would have liked to see an ending that depicted a fighting spirit, one that would win over evil, and perhaps the next poem I will?  

Nice writing - keep it up!

Liked the poem and

"There's nothing worse that being an aging young person!" - Richard Pryor
~ Carpe' Diem ~

Sexy
Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53

3 posted 2006-01-26 03:37 PM


I love this one its a really great write.....
XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
4 posted 2006-02-05 07:01 PM


This is a great write!  But dont give up on life no matter what.  Live life while you still have a chance.

XxnoraxX

latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
5 posted 2006-03-07 09:04 PM


"Her soul is strangled by hate,
Mind twisted by tears,
Body destroyed everday,
From all her senseless fears

Her smile will be hidden,
Her laughs faked on request,
Shell put herself down for you,
Anything to feel less,

The tears won’t stop coming,
She screams in the night,
God why have u don’t this,
I’m giving up the fight,

I don’t want this pain,
Eating me alive,
I don’t want to go on,
My soul just cant survive,"


I lliked thee lines the best. nice write

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

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