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CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248


0 posted 2006-01-16 09:04 PM



Love was all I asked for;
You gave it to me in Tainted Kisses.
The warm breath of your soul
drowning out all other noises
as your lips pass on my neck.
The ache of a thousand tears
demolishing all other emotions
as your eyes catch my glance.
The times you wished on stars
burning themselves into my skin,
into my heart, into my life.
I took your kisses
as a sign of our undying passion;
You took them as a sign of passion.
and tainted them with your lies.
When love was all I asked for,
you fed me tainted kisses.

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

© Copyright 2006 Keryn - All Rights Reserved
dickiegreenleaf
Junior Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 10
Canada
1 posted 2006-01-16 09:43 PM


gorgeous...really expresses the differences in how both genders view affection
intention
Member
since 2005-11-13
Posts 59
New Delhi, INDIA
2 posted 2006-02-22 03:56 PM


wow!!!
i read, reread and read again

Love me for who i m

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2006-02-22 06:18 PM


beautiful. very.

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
4 posted 2006-02-22 06:18 PM


Very nice writing. its true. i think that some men (not all men) think of love as sex and kissing."oh my woman wants love i should go make out with her" not always helpful.

            Jessica    
              :)

       Where your heart lays
        is where you belong.

PoetryIsLife
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since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
5 posted 2006-02-24 02:22 PM


Very, very nice. This is quality poetry, and I hope to find more authors like you in the forum. It's evident you chose your words carefully.

Fantastic read.

~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

PoetryIsLife
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...in my boxers...
6 posted 2006-02-24 02:25 PM


By the way, your critique message... what does it mean, exactly? Do you believe that the artist doesn't need critique? Sort of like, those who are passionate don't have the time to listen to the reviews?

I'm totally just curious what you mean.

~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

7 posted 2006-02-24 03:07 PM


Hey..

Thanks for replying everyone. I was kind of surprised that this one came back up(thanks intention for the revival)

to Daniel...its supposed to mean that those who want the fame that comes with being a good writer will have time to read the reviews, whereas those who write just to write don't have time to, they love writing too much to pull themselves away from it. I can't take credit for this one though, it's a quote from William Faulkner.


thanks again all..
<3kerR

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

8 posted 2006-02-24 09:40 PM


Hey, Has anyone else noticed how 'ghetto' this board has gotten? I mean, nobody seems to talk anymore, there are very few good, impressive, actually helpful comments(more often than not it's 'wow good job' and nothing more, or people wondering if this is something people actually went through, 'cuz if tho then that shizz aint gnna fly, uz gotz to drop dat boi' and not commenting on poetry) Anybody have any ideas or thoughts on this? I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and disappointed by it.

<3kerR

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

PoetryIsLife
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...in my boxers...
9 posted 2006-02-25 04:35 PM


I've noticed the same trend, to tell you the truth. What do you think spawned it?



~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
10 posted 2006-02-27 06:11 PM


Hey!
  I loved this poem. I've read it once before. I've been reading on this site for a while but just joined so, I've read many poems by you and you are one of my favorite writers in this type of poetry. I loved it. Hope to read some new stuff soon.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

latteaddict213
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since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
11 posted 2006-02-27 11:09 PM


i have only been a member for about ten days and when I looked around thats what every thing looked like so i assumed thats just how its done around here. Always has been and always will be. Did the coments used to be more helpful?

           Jessica    
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

PoetryIsLife
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...in my boxers...
12 posted 2006-02-28 05:15 AM


You can always look at the archives, both for Teen and for Open, and take a look at how the responses used to be. The Critiques used to be just that, critiques.

It all depends on what the current members want. Just keep in mind "Great job" doesn't necessarily make any writer a better one.

~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

13 posted 2006-02-28 07:02 PM


Thanks Daniel. That's exactly what I'm gettin at, people who have been here for years stopped replying, so new people don't know what to say. I post poems here not just to hear "Wow, great job" but to hear someone like Young_blood(who's actual names is Alex) tell me that he thinks my work is bland, because it's no different from anything else out there(Check out my poem Untitled if you want to know what I'm talking about.) He was being completely honest, and while I didn't agree with him, I took his advice into consideration, and now refuse to post poems that aren't different from whatever else I've written. To me, at least, this site is about being totally and completely honest about anything you feel when you read someone's poem...and I'm sorry, but "Good job" just doesn't cut it.


<3KerR

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
14 posted 2006-03-06 10:58 PM


hey hey hey girl gah ive missed ya... lol yeah i havent really been around so i agree totally! i love alex b/c of his honesty and i tell ya what i dont read those poems that people write that talk all "ghetto" i know i dont always write right but i mean thats just when it fits ya know lol but any how about your poem

i like how you kinda repeated your first two lines at the end and i also love these lines

"The times you wished on stars,
burning themselves into my skin."

but of course i love everything you write
im adding this by the way... who does that anymore... nothing is hardly worth adding in her much

how did you break my heart when it wasn't whole to start?

aol sn- tearsoflove13762

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
15 posted 2006-03-07 12:56 PM


Hey!

I’m new here, and I’ve been reading the things you’ve posted.

So yeah, lets be completely honest about your poem! What I don’t understand is how you get the “ache of a thousand tears”… No, that’s not right… How do I say this? You start by saying “the ache of a thousand tears” gets rid of all other emotions, but than you say you took the kiss as “undying passion”?
How do you have this “ache” of tears but have undying passion?
Am I completely missing the point or what?

Or how you go from kisses to memories?

I must sound like a complete jerk! But really if you look at it, your poem doesn’t make a lot of sense… to me at least... i'm not saying i'm an expert or anything either but this is just what i feel

Sorry…

@-->---

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

16 posted 2006-03-07 06:41 PM


Hey Laura, Thanks, like always, Lovya!<3


To Stargal...the basis of the poem was to be me feeling his emotions as he passed over my neck with his kisses, with me feeling as though every emotion, every tear he had cried or every wish and desire that he ever had in his lifetime were being poured into these kisses. It was the concept that I had taken his kisses to mean everything to him, like they did to me. Also, Passion doesn't necessarily mean love and lust...what the girl in this poem, the narrator, was supposed to feel as passionate was a love, a consuming need to share everything, the good and the bad. That's what she saw as passion, and felt as though he was sharing his emotions as was she. However, the male here only threw his feelings of lust into these kisses, never really meaning to share anything more than careless kissing and maybe a hickey or two. It's just basically supposed to show the differences between how the two genders view kissing and feeling emotions and passions. Do I make sense here? If not let me know and I'll try again. Thanks though, StarGal, for actually spending enough time reading my poem to respond and ask questions from it. I hope this cleared it up. And no, you don't sound like a jerk...Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson still make no sense to me, and I nitpick at them all the time. Thanks A Lot, and let me know if this doesn't make sense....its very possible today.


...I think I sound really really pompous...sorry. I'm not REALLY like that.
<3Keryn

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

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