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Teen Poetry #7
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dickiegreenleaf
Junior Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 10
Canada

0 posted 2006-01-16 02:07 AM



can you hear me
as I ponder
these words softly
find myself
hating you
this wont do.
This is it.
Now don’t forget
Thinking words
I wish you
Knew
Listen to yourself
Afraid to lose.
Its not it.
Please don’t forget
Supposing things
I crave you
Knew
Hear yourself
Scared to fail
Nothing more.

© Copyright 2006 Dylan - All Rights Reserved
XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
1 posted 2006-02-11 11:38 AM


woah real good-great job!

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
2 posted 2006-03-09 02:41 PM


its good. maybe you could put places where you want the reader to break? maybe?

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-03-18 02:50 PM


Really interesting!
I have to agree with Jessica, stanzas would be really nice in this…

The first few lines,

“Can you hear me
as I ponder
these words softly “

I love this part; it really sticks out to me…

Keep writing, I’d love to see more!

@-->---

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2006-03-19 12:07 PM


Wow, amazing write! Excellent job I enjoyed reading it.

Keep posting!

~Alli~

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