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Teen Poetry #7
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WaterFairy103
Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196


0 posted 2006-07-02 04:19 PM


~~OK, before you read this, here's some history behind it: A few months back, i had this really fantastic boyfriend who loved me for who I am, and I loved him back.  But my mother didn't like him, because we'd met over the internet.  So she ran him off.  And I guess some of it's my fault, because I didn't fight harder for him, but... I don't know.  
Another interesting tidbit:  I read somewhere about "substanzas"(don't ask me where, i have a very short attention span, I really don't know), so I thought I'd try it out.  Notice that the substanzas have their own rhyme scheme, and it'll help understand it better.  Thanks!~~

I think about the way you smiled,
The way we’d never fight.
I think about us being together,
Always in each other’s sight.

HOw am I supposed to forget,
when you're always in my thoughts?

I miss the days that we ere like that,
You can bet your bottom dollar I do.
I long for the days that I could hold,
The days that I could freely touch you.

How am I supposed to move on,
When you’re standing there like a road block?

I know you probably don’t care anymore,
You probably think I’m not right in the head.
It hurts to stay where you may be indifferent,
But I find that I have legs of lead.

How am I supposed to look back on this,
When you won’t go into my rear view?

I don’t really want to put us behind me,
I don’t want to let you go.
Why would I want to do a thing like that,
When I know I’d miss you so?

How am I supposed to get over you,
When I don’t really want to?

When I stopped trying to find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me.

© Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

1 posted 2006-07-02 05:45 PM


ahhh that  was really good. i understand everything. Of course I've never had one of those situations. But that was reall good. Keep writing. I like your work alot.

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
2 posted 2006-07-04 12:08 PM


Yeah. I agree with cherrys_rule. I understand it, but have never been in a situation like that. Cool "substanzas". It's awsome. I will now give you, your "good job!". Good Job!

                  Jessica    
            
    

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
3 posted 2006-07-04 12:47 PM


wow, i really do think the "substanzas" were a great idea..gave me an idea for my poetry now!!
great poem too...I haven't  exactly been in that situation..my friend kinda was, but she decided a long-distance relationship wasn't good over the internet..maybe thats what your mom means..i dont know. but good job=)

-hugs-
~missy

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-07-09 01:36 AM


Hey WaterFairy103,

It sounds like a tough situation going on there... I hope everythings going okay...

I liked this poem by you, I could see lots of emotions in it, or maybe I just read them in, but in some ways I could relate to everything you were saying.

Yes, I loved the style of this poem also. I've never really seen anything like it before. I guess I better start reading up on poetry styles...

I liked this part a lot,

"
HOw am I supposed to forget,
when you're always in my thoughts?"


Okay, okay, I know it's short but it's to the point. Which i love about it, it doesn't waste words on idle frippery...

Anyway, thanks for sharing this poem with us, I enjoyed reading it

@-->---

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