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Teen Poetry #7
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Babys Daddy
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Babys Daddy |
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Sexy Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53 |
I just got of the phone with you telling me you cant come through to see her once again last time you saw her was at her first birthday party, but now shes three its been awhile and now she knows her Daddy dont want to come around to see her cause she lives at home with her Mama she always ask me why dont i have a Daddy that lives with me like the Daddys at pre skool? How come he never comes to see me? Is that Daddy in that picture? I always anwser with "Mackenzie, Daddy didnt love Mommy enough to stay around when i was in skool and he found out i was having you he stoped talking to me, i was only 15 when i had you and it was only a one night stand with a man i was friends with for a little while, the kids at skool have older Mommys and Daddys that didn't have to sacrafice things like Mommy did so, be thankful for what you have and just dont think about Daddy,because he'll come around the block when he's ready." so next time you call me i am not anwering the phone cause you just caused me so much pain again... |
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| © Copyright 2005 Sexy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248 |
Okay, This one is a little bit better grammatically, but I would set it up a little better structurally. Again, it's difficult to read....And if this is true, I'm really sorry. This has really good ideas behind, a great story, and with a little bit of tweaking, I think this can be a great poem. <3ker When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. |
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Sexy Member
since 2005-11-25
Posts 53 |
Thanks you for telling me how i can improve my writting.... |
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