navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Help...
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Help... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
DestinedSuccess
Junior Member
since 2005-11-16
Posts 12
California,

0 posted 2005-11-18 01:40 AM



Ok kiddies.. I need some help.. I dont know how to end the poem and I think there is something else missing.. so if you could please help that would be great.

Its time to say goodbye to everything I've known
Looking back I have noticed how much I have grown
For 15 months we were together,
We went through eveyrthing; the stormiest weather
All our memories brings a smile to my face
In my heart they will always hold a special place..

Thats as far as I have gotten.. I have no idea how to end it so please help.. and you may also tell me how to improve the first part.. thankyou

© Copyright 2005 Bobbi-Jo - All Rights Reserved
CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

1 posted 2005-11-20 09:27 PM


Its time to say goodbye
to everything I've known
Looking back I have noticed
just how much I have grown
For 15 beautiful months
it was just us two together,
We went through everyhing,
even the stormiest weather
All of our memories still
bring a smile to my face
And in my heart I know
they'll always hold a special place
But fifteen months is over,
and its time for us to part
Its time for us to say goodbye
and for both to make a new start.
So here is my goodbye
with no hard feelings felt
I will always be here for you
no matter the cards we're dealt.
You helped make me who I am
and I hope that I've changed you
Yet fifteen months has past
and I've got to say 'Adieu'


Thats just my thoughts on it. I HATE my last sentence, but other than that, That's how I ran with it. Keep if you want, don't if you don't, maybe it will give you inspiration, maybe not. I just copied yours, added to make it flow nicer, and then finished off. If you hate it, then I apologize for destroying your poem.

<3kerR<3


When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

DestinedSuccess
Junior Member
since 2005-11-16
Posts 12
California,
2 posted 2005-11-23 02:16 PM


i really like it thanx
CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

3 posted 2005-11-24 09:13 PM


Im sorry, i butchered it! i didnt realize how bad that was til just now... lemme know if you end up writing your own end to it..
<3ker

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

DestinedSuccess
Junior Member
since 2005-11-16
Posts 12
California,
4 posted 2005-11-28 05:19 PM


No I really like it, its exactly how I feel.. thankyou so much
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Help...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary