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Teen Poetry #7
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halfway
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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halfway |
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skoolyardturtle Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96 |
the world seemed emptier than usual today i walked past the rest of civilization with no particular destination... the colors slowly passed before my eyes, as I watched lives being lived from the outside in feeling like an outcast with my own species... returning to a place i felt i didn't belong. unwanted moments of solitude... ....the sun had left me alone a long time ago... my skin feeling more and more like it's one with the air around me, sensing no one else's presence but myself i'm living this life with my eyes halfway closed.... never knowing what life would be like if i actually had a human soul it was a feeling that i had accepted, the passerbys and pedestrians ignored the presence of an empty shell... a waste of space and renewable resources, is what i turned out to be.... waking every morning wondering if i'm still alive; a walking paralytic with no desire of any kind but to be the normal one... despite knowing nothing of normality wondering and thinking where the hell did i ever go wrong? thinking back to images in fast forward down to this moment counting the times that i tried acting as normal as possible wishing that every night i would find my soul in a dream worth dreaming about and wake up feeling human for the first time but the thoughts keep coming the memories of human life rushing back to me as i wander aimlessly through an empty dimension with my eyes halfway open |
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AtLsHawTy17 Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 60IL, |
that was really good i feel that way sometimes |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
Over all i enjoyed this poem, although its tone seemed a bit longing. The last two lines really knocked me out. but, to tell the truth, I can't help but think how much stronger the poem would be without the excessive use of I's and Me's. I dig it though. Thanks for the write. nice use of muffin |
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skoolyardturtle Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 96 |
noted. thanks guys I want life in every word, to the extent that it's absurd.- The Postal Service |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
"wishing that every night i would find my soul in a dream worth dreaming about and wake up feeling human for the first time" i love it, very heartfelt piece, gave off a definate sense of trying to fill that hole we sometimes find ourselves facing... anyway, good write, looking forward to more "Do not go gentle into that good night, |
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