The sun is dying - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

skoolyardturtle
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 96

0 posted 2005-07-01 03:51 AM

the wind from the west had blown its way in
to the deepest crevasse in the pit of my soul
from the outside
you look as beautiful as the dying sun
on the inside
i can see the pain slowly eating its way to the shell
my love for the sky
is something that can't be broken
the soft sand of the gray beach
burns at my feet as i watch you trace the shore
your hair dazzling in the golden sunlight
it feels like we're the only ones on this world
somehow lost track of all time and location
in our own wonderful misery
in our world
where time has never existed
where the past and present both mold into one
where i feel like a grade schooler and you're my first crush
and the very sight of you
wrenches at my heart and burns my insides
the pain hurts so much
i can't get enough of it
but when i see you walking towards me
it's almost like being alive
as if i was dead before you walked into my life
and when i am with you
the world seems so wide and endless
the wind is blue
the grass is gray
and the sun is shining on me, on you
time doesn't exist when we are together
a kiss an embrace that doesn't last forever
means so little but hurts so much
so much the sadness is overwhelming
as the meloncolic breeze
washes over this separate dimension
but with you with me
the feeling is too good to be true
the beach feels cool
and the sun is dying
but you are still so beautiful to me
as the bleeding sun
as the dying sun
my angel
my love
my endless ending
of the dying sun

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2005-07-01 09:36 AM

WOW
This is SOOOO incredible!
awesome
I am keeping this one...

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

2 posted 2005-07-01 03:12 PM

i am adding this one to my library. and congradulations on keeping me interested through the whole poem. on most longer poems it doesnt work.

love will make you beautiful

spaz02
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 74
USA

3 posted 2005-07-01 10:46 PM

this was great! it all made so much sence!! i will defently look forward to reading more from you.

StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

4 posted 2005-07-01 11:08 PM

wow i love this! definitely kept my attention the whole time, as previously states. "means so little but hurts so much"... worded so well. thanks for sharing, i cant wait to read more!

SarBear
Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 205
Massachusetts

5 posted 2005-07-06 08:50 PM

that's amazing. very descriptive and great imagery.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.