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Teen Poetry #7
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spaz02
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74
USA

0 posted 2005-06-29 08:54 PM


"ROSES"

Roses are red
Violets are blue
and this pretty face
is all for you

Cause what you don't know
won't hurt you a bit
and this pretty face
isn't all that pretty

'Cause if you look inside
The fakeness in my eyes
you'll see this pretty face
isn't always pretty

so look real deep
deep down in my soul
and you'll see all the lies
That I have to hide

I will always hide
Behind this magic mask
and on lucky days
you'll see the truth

If only you knew
My secrets and lies
you might understand
the pain I hide

Maybe, just maybe
one of these days
I'll spill my guts
and tell it all

Roses are red
Violets are blue
and this pretty face
Isn't pretty at all.

© Copyright 2005 Amber Rose - All Rights Reserved
spaz02
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74
USA
1 posted 2005-06-29 09:09 PM


hey people...this isnt my first write just my first post and i hope you like it..please tell me what you think. Iv'e always come on this site and finally got to join...i hope its all worht it..which i think it is! lol thanks
~Amber  A.K.A ~spaz02

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2005-06-29 10:44 PM


Welcome Amber! I liked it..
Please check your email for a special greeting!

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
3 posted 2005-06-29 11:11 PM


amber, welcome to pip and i really loved the idea there are just some areas i personally would change.


Cause what you don't know,
won't hurt you a bit
and this pretty face
isn't all that GREAT.

'Cause if you look inside,
The fakeness in my eyes
you'll see this pretty face
isn't always THAT WAY.

so look real deep,
down in my soul
and you'll see all the lies
That I have to hide.

love will make you beautiful

spaz02
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74
USA
4 posted 2005-06-29 11:21 PM


thank you for helping me fiz my mistakes...can i fix them and repost this.....? cuz it says not to post the same thin too many times??
shara
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 69
florida/USA
5 posted 2005-06-30 11:28 AM


i liked the concept, the message you wanted to convey to the readers was there, maybe you could try a diff technique next time. look forward to reading more from you...welcome to piptalk.
  
  shara

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