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Teen Poetry #7
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Xeonox
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Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2006-07-01 08:03 PM



My love, look around you,
And see that I am here with you now,
Forever by your side, never will we be separate,
Now you can’t hide me, for I am that type of a secret,
You won’t ever be able to forget me, for I am such a thought,

When I flow through your soul, why do I sense hesitation?
I am in your thoughts, in all your answers, and questions,
I am engraved in each one of them,
When you think of me, you see your world in me,

Then came the day, when we were separated,
For two instance it seem we walked together,
Then you went your way, and I mine,
When you were in my world, each flower seem to smile at me,
And because of me, clouds of happiness surrounded you,

Colors of love have faded, and only darkness engulfs me,
When I met you, I reached my purpose in my life,
And my love was magical, for it held your heart captivated,
But alas, we both went our way…separated forever.

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

© Copyright 2006 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-07-01 10:09 PM


Colors of love have faded, and only darkness engulfs me,
When I met you, I reached my purpose in my life,
And my love was magical, for it held your heart captivated,
But alas, we both went our way…separated forever.”


How sad… lol… reading this was like a dream and than falling flat on your face you wake up!
I loved how you built us up, told us of your love, made it seem like you were together for life and than all the sudden you let it all out, told us what is really happening. The word choices were awesome in this made it seem very real in my mind. I think that everyone will be able to relate to this in some ways, because everyone has lost someone they love… I think you captured the emotions just right in this and I believe that I could continue raving on and on about how much I like this! Lol.. but I won’t, don’t worry…

Thanks for sharing this one with us, as you can tell I really enjoyed reading this poem. The title alone made me want to read this but as soon as I started the first stanza I was hooked…

As always I can’t wait to see what you come up with next and I hope I will be able to read more soon

@-->---

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-07-09 07:19 PM


Well, I have no clue why others have not posted on this, so in a second attempt I'm going to bump* this back up

@-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
3 posted 2006-07-09 09:27 PM


I thank stargal for [bumping] this back up.. I missed it when you first posted it..

This was a great job.. I love the last stanza but I can't say I have a favorite.. many lines caught my attention greatly.. so great great job..
I loved this.



~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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