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Teen Poetry #7
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0 posted 2005-05-05 06:09 AM



       ... thinking inside out ...
... haven't a prayer ...


                ... kalling ...

         ... out ...

    ... names ...


... nobody's there ...

                      ... or kares ...

...

    ... torturing myself ...
               ... baq into disallusion ...

... i was always ...

             ... foolish ...

© Copyright 2005 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved
CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
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1 posted 2005-05-07 08:36 PM


Kinda creepy...i liked it, but i didnt like the K's in place of the C's...i missed the point of that....Sorry.


Not bad.

_keryn

By the way, your hands are shaking...

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2 posted 2005-05-08 07:39 AM


Thanks alot. It's supposed to be kinda creepy :P

The "K"s instead of "C"s though...read my older stuff, and you'll get used to it

The deeper we go, the harder it gets.

Local Parasite
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3 posted 2005-05-08 01:44 PM


I think I'm starting to get this "visual poetry" thing.  It almost appears as if someone tore up a poem into pieces and scattered it all about, and only a few words are visible, looking up in fragments (according to the ellipses you've added).

The replacing of C-sounding letters with Ks and Qs could only be something along the lines of "K is for Kompressor!" right?  Still into that stuff, buddy old pal?     Or there might be something I'm missing, but I think it's strictly stylistic and doesn't need justification.

The word "disallusion" is another subtle re-definition of a word, and it seems more meaningful than the others.  A state of disallusion would mean being conjured into the wrong place, wouldn't it?  I thought that was a neat little detail you added.

Did anyone tell you you look just like Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series?  Patty and I were watching it last night and couldn't help noticing that.

Nice to see you around piptalk, Alex.  

Brian


"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

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4 posted 2005-05-09 04:31 AM


So Brian, I was sitting here...reading your reply. Generally liking what I was reading. Nodding my head going, "Wow---perceptive."

...then outta nowhere you throw Malfoy at me! Hahahahahahahahaha...and yeah, thanks! He's pretty cool.

And darned right I still like the old stuff. I'm starting to play it too, hehe.

The deeper we go, the harder it gets.

Poems of Autumn
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5 posted 2005-05-09 12:03 PM


Your poem seemed to portray a sense of loneliness and despair. When you put K's instead of C's, it made me think that you felt that there was no reason to please society with proper grammar, like you felt no one cared. I may be totally wrong about it, I am a newby, so sorry if I was. What also made me feel the way I do is the way the poem meanres downward, like it is falling from the sky. Now I am feeling all depressed! Thanks! JK! No I liked the poem immensly.  
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6 posted 2005-05-09 12:28 PM


Thanks, the mood of the poem is pretty depressive, yeah.
cherish
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swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2005-05-24 04:51 AM


your newer poems make me feel like im floating towards a seabed...sinking and yet, floating like a leaf.

and i like the fact that youre completely different and so utter unorthodox in your approch, its jarring and yet, refreshing. biased? what....me?....NEVER!

fall quietly...

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8 posted 2005-05-25 04:48 PM


Think "plastik", my dear.
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