Black and White Masquerade

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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2005-04-11 02:31 PM

Im sorry I didn’t leave my heart
out in the open
I watch with no reaction
as you fade away

close the curtains
Im fighting a battle backstage
to keep myself from splitting apart
but the audience will just call me cold

I will fall
To embrace much more
I will laugh
instead of giving one last cry

misunderstood
the name I have grown accustomed to

I can’t act this out anymore
reasons fade away
I can’t give one last endeavor
I never received applause in the first place

the lights are too bright
and if I wore my heart on my sleeve
everyone would gasp
at it’s ghastly color

the crackle of the gramophone
makes the scene too ironic
and it still isn’t in tune
with this dance

the wooden floor is creaky
as I move to my own steps,
too slow to make sense
too dark for this play

put more effort into it
is what they all would say
but this set looks different in my eyes
and I can no longer act out this mockery

I blend into the dark background
and they watch with no reaction
as I fade away

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

1 posted 2005-04-11 03:08 PM

Wow, I really really loved this post! I think this poem was amazing, I loved it! The whole idea of an audience watching as if it were a show, i liked that a lot! Keep it up!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2005-04-11 04:57 PM

yeah the concept of this was really cool, and most parts of it hit me...but sometimes it didn't touch. i don't know, i'm so not dissing it or anything but i think i just might feel disconnected in some parts...or maybe that is your point? hell if i know...lol. overall, very cool poem.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2005-04-11 05:09 PM

Thanks for the replies! They are much appreciated.
I was feeling disconnected off and on as I wrote this, so Im not surprised that in some parts it may have shown through. It doesn't really bother me if some parts feel that way. I hope it still measures up with any other readers though.

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

4 posted 2005-04-11 06:06 PM

Wow, this was amazing.

It really hit close to home
for me.

Please keep on writing.

-Kelly

You play the song I know.
You are the song I know.

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

5 posted 2005-04-14 05:49 PM

The first 2 stanza's drew me in and I was taken from there. This was great, i loved how you used the audience and the message. IT's hard when the worlds watching you suffer, like as you showed, on a stage. Amazing work!

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

6 posted 2005-06-27 10:21 PM

Wow... this poem is amazing. Your choice of words is so on, and it really hits home.
"and if I wore my heart on my sleeve
everyone would gasp
at it's ghastly color"
this is my favorite part- all of the world really is a stage i suppose. anyway, great write. I can't wait to read more!

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