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Teen Poetry #7
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tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2005-03-29 06:52 PM



I watch as you slowly pull off the layers of confusion from my lone soul.

One by one; layer by layer; piece by piece.

I watch as you stare at my naked self.
I no longer have my disquises.

It is really me.

Quiet.
Peaceful.
Loved.

I can't help  but laugh as you look at me with your deep, caring eyes.

Preparing for intimacy.
Preparing for that moment that we will be the closest than we have ever been.
Preparing for trust.

-hold on to the one you love

© Copyright 2005 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved
majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
1 posted 2005-03-29 09:05 PM


honest and earnest.

you ask for it so i will be honest: it was a bit trite.

move past what is obvious about the experience and move into what is just underneath teasing your conscious.

it was just below what you wrote; you can find it.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent
2 posted 2005-03-29 10:02 PM


thanks for your honesty!!!
Laura

-hold on to the one you love

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