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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2005-03-27 01:58 AM

Explicit drawings, silent pleas,
I ask for you to look at me and see,
see that there's nothing more that I want,
than for it to be you and me.

Look past my dry wall of red I've built,
Look past all the beauty and the guilt.
Aspiring each day to be something more,
the description of the job I'd fill.

How many more times do i have to pretend,
that I don't wish with all of me that it'd end?
How many clues do you need from me?
I love you, what don't you comprehend?

When wasn't it ever enough for you,
I've always loved you, I've always been true.
Don't rub in my face what all's gone good,
when my void of happiness is nothing new.

This cloudless rain is hanging over me,
I'm asking for you to look at me and see,
see that I want to be strong, that all I want
is to be able to turn around from you and leave.
-Erin

Another one that's not my normal longer ones. Enjoy.

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

Mick Hawkes
Member

since 2000-10-26

Posts 90
Tees-side , England

1 posted 2005-03-27 07:28 AM

Enjoy.. That i did .. very much..

Never take life too seriously - None of us gets out alive!

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2005-03-27 03:13 PM

Look past all the beauty and the guilt.

that's my favorite line, it seems a lot of relationships have these b.s. elements in it, and if you want anything to last you do have to look past that...ew my grandparents just emailed me lol....okay sorry back to the poem, it has a rhyme scheme which i don't work with too often, but your's seems consistant throughout the entire piece. i love the message in this as well, and it's well written. i can't find anything to fault with it. thanks for sharing =) if this is a current problem, i hope it gets better for ya.

-bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

3 posted 2005-03-27 09:34 PM

the rhyme sheme is good i usually dont like reading poems that rhyme lol but this one i loved im adding it to my library thanks for writing

-hold on to the one you love

dodge_chick2003
Member

since 2004-01-18

Posts 136
California

4 posted 2005-03-31 05:55 PM

i really liked this poem it seems to explain a lot of the relationships out there these days.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2005-04-01 05:00 PM

*hum's Sevendust song, "Face To Face" while reading poem*
Hey Erin.  Long time no see! *waves*

It seems there's enough emo to this thread already, so I'll pass on that.  Is it just me, or does this poem go from almost having a tone of longing, to a tone of disgust?  It's as if you've gone from loving that person and wishing they'd see you for you, and drop the pretense, to hateing the person for how they treat you and how they act.  If so, than it was subtle - I can't find exactly where it happens - and for that, I bow to you.  An excellent poem!
                                  -Rich

"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

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