navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Star Gazing
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Star Gazing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
morcor0120ch
New Member
since 2003-02-25
Posts 7


0 posted 2005-03-27 12:59 PM


Star Gazing

The clouds that loom lazily overhead,
will soon be vanquished by rapture.
Reached while gazing upon your heavenly eyes,
and relishing the starry configuration of your smile.

No other constellation could leave me so baffled,
but your stars always have me guessing.
Right from wrong, they taught me life,
time and time again, they teach me how to live.

And I would paint you a picture with my tears,
but they do not stream.
For as long as you loan me your ears,
my life is but a dream.

So watch with me, the April sun,
as it sets behind the maze of trees,
and leaves us hand in hand,
forever linked, forever close.

© Copyright 2005 morcor0120ch - All Rights Reserved
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
1 posted 2005-03-27 03:17 PM


hey,
i don't think i've ever replied to any of your poetry before, so welcome to PIP..it's a hell of a place. this seems to have a different vibe to me...one of those love poems where you have to think about the actual meaning a lot harder then most...i really like this, honestly it does have a few cliches in it, but it still manages to be fairly creative.  gah i hate talking about cliches, it reminds me of my 10th grade poetry teacher...anyway, overall this was really beautifully written, and it was intriguing...thank you for sharing.

bergundy

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Star Gazing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary