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Teen Poetry #7

you keep us fighting on.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2005-03-20 06:45 PM

the pebbles underneath
my feet hurt,
but it was summer
and not for a second
would i let
my smile decrease into
your hands.
she stood and smiled
as we waded
through the currents.
the wind balanced
and ready for us to
splash our way
through the sun.
and somehow,
things then were the
definition of alright.
we would climb home
wet and
sticky and watch your
mom out on the
porch smoking her daily
cigarette.
mumbling about the
garden or
the sun rays being too
hot for her pale skin.
we would step over
the insecurities
like it was nothing,
like a graceful dancer.
never falling,
never falling out of step
with each others
footprints,
racing across on the hot
pavement,
barefoot and full
of dull excitement.

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

1 posted 2005-03-20 08:22 PM

i really enjoyed this write as i do alot of yours... i liked how u repeated "barefoot" again at the end

-hold on to the one you love

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2005-03-20 10:52 PM

a very strange yet cool journey, it didn't touch me as hard as your other poetry does, but it seems kind of aloof...yet caring. wow i don't know i'm thinking in circles.

berg

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

I_dont_know_me
Junior Member

since 2003-12-08

Posts 48
UK, Cymru

3 posted 2005-03-21 05:41 AM

I loved it, which is strange because I'm not a big fan of the summer but I did, very warming x

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2005-03-21 11:03 AM

I love it.
its so real.
so story like.

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